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i dont know what to do about having sex with an older guy
Hi i am 16 and i realized that i like older guys when i was 14.i have dated guys more than 5yrs older than me . I feel really bad about it but mostly only guys are attracted to me also. I am virgin still but i really want to havr sex with my now ex who is more than 7yrs older than me. We only broke up because his aunt told him to wait... i stay away from him since i dont want anything bad to happen because his aunt will take this matter to the police. I still feel sexually attracted to him and i cant move on. My 19yrs old friend i think likes me and i dont think i like him like that because i still like my ex. I am confused because my friend and i cant be together becausr of religious issues and i know fot a fact i like me ex more. But another problem is i met this guy who is also 19 he admitted to liking me but he is nice and everything but i think about me ex more than i do of him or my friend....it is clear i like my ex still but should i give anyone of the other guys a chance although i really only want to have sex with my ex and he is the only one i really trust and really love?
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Simply from a legal standpoint in most states you don't have to have sex with a guy 4 years or more older than you to get them in serious legal trouble. They can be charged with statutory rape even if sex has never occurred. It is assumed it has because law in most states says that you are a minor and below the legal age to consent to sex.
The four year age difference is called the Cinderella clause. Not all states have such a clause in their laws for sex with a minor. Your friend's Aunt was right to break you two up to protect him for you are to him what is known as jail bait. Just by dating you he could go to jail for 20 years and then have to register as a sex offender.
The other things you wrote about boys your age are absolutely true. Boys your age are very immature, the confuse lust and love and are always looking for sex. It is a very frustrating age for a mature 16 year old young lady such as yourself.
I would not suggest you run off and have sex just for the sake of having sex and losing your virginity. That would honestly be like having a plate full of empty calories for dinner, you won't enjoy it and your first sexual experience is something that should be enjoyed.
Find out what the laws are in your state regarding when you are old enough to commit to having sex. It is probably 17. Depending on how long it is to your next birthday it may not be that long to wait. Then you will be well within the Cinderella clause and able to consent to sex and you and your ex can get back together again if you want.
In the mean time nothing say the two of you cannot communicate with each other. Meet in public places to have coffee and talk or to do things such as go bowling, play miniature golf, play tennis or see a ball game. Just as long as you arrive and leave separately and are in the public eye at all times. This should not be considered a date. Once again check with the police or the lawyer as I am not a lawyer or am I familiar with the laws of your state to make sure you are within the bounds of the law to keep him safe.
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Its perfectly natural (at least in my eyes) to like older guys. My husband is 7 years older than me and we've been together for 14 years! lol
I can see the appeal, trust me i can. alot of times it LOOKS like they are more "figured out" in life and are ok in their own skin, easier to talk to because they've gained experience over the years, and know how to please. BUT its also illegal, in an attempt to protect girls from the predator type guys that DONT have themselves figured out and just want to take advantage of young girls who are naive and dont know how to judge a persons character. i get that i do and i support it even if that makes me look like a hypocrite.
It sounds liek your really confused about what you want here between these guys and if thats the case then you shouldnt date or try to go for any of them until you REALLY know what you want and even if you should meet another guy and your still thinking about that other older guy that you cant be with, then you wont want someone else, youll want ONLY him and he'll want ONLY you, and you will both wait until you CAN be together if it is true love.
Thats what happened with me and mine and it worked out for the better. We both understood the rules, i didnt want him to get in trouble and even though i was a model and had a LIST of guys my own age to date i simply didnt want anyone else. (((guys my own age were stupid and either just looking to have sex, or wanted to hang with the guys, brag about their "scores" or play video games))) and i didnt want any part of that.
I knew from a young age that i wanted better for myself and the older guys just seemed to HAVE it going on for themselves. A car, a job, college maybe just getting a place of their own, i could talk to them and have an intelligent conversation, and were laid back and chill. So i know the feeling, the attraction and the need for what seems like someone to has themselves together. Girls mature faster than guys mentally as well so thinking guys around you (your age) are dumb is totally normal too.
I wouldnt want to get my guy in trouble because of his aunt, so if you both feel the same way truly then stay in contact, talk, be there for each other and once she cools down and you can be together and your set. Your well within your right to see other guys just to see if they can change your view on your older guy but if not youll know hes the guy for you by the time you can really be together.
good luck.
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Dear, love is a mutual type of emotion. If you don't love these two guys, then don't give them a chance. Ok, let's say it's not love, like it's just like or lust or whatever, these are still mutual. Remember, being nice and everything isn't enough. You know deep inside you that it isn't, because you want another man. right? If you did give them the chance, either you marry him or break his heart. Think about it.
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