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Is it jealousy orrrr
Girl, Year7
So my bestfriend (lets call her A) isnt in the same class as me since 6th grade. In 6th grade, A and i werent as close but because i have other friends in my class its not very bad for me., one of my bestfriend in class in C. A and i still talk back then but not as close as now. So anyways, this year started to get worse. A was more social with C and i have a feeling shes trying to replace me but i kept telling myself no, shes just trying to have more friends becasue she said she was gonna ask to change to my class next year. I also wanted her to be in my class, so that it would be easier for our friendship, but im also afraid she'll steal most of my classmates.
All that brings to today. She told be that she was gonna write an email to he teacher saying that its unfair and she wants to change to my class. I reminded her to say "want to be in the same class in me" so that the teachers won't switch me to her class so she can come to my class. If they really did that, I would be so sad since I dont know much people in her existing class now. So the problem is that, im afraid the teachers would forget and swap me and her, ends up with A in the better class while I'll have to make new friends again, and lose touch with all the cool friends i have now in my class. Should I also send an email to my teacher saying that I want to be in the same class with A so that at least we wont be separated?
Part of me doesnt want her to come. Well i think 70% of me want A to stay in her own class. Im just really stressed out to think that I might be swapped to another class while A can steal friends in my class. Really hurts my heart xd thanks
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Maybe give some free advice about: School?
By year 7, I assume you mean 7th grade level in school which would mean middle school, the schooling just before high school. Since you used a different term, i will assume that you don't live in the U.S. where as far as I know, most middle schools are set up like high school where the kids have to move from class to class during the day and have more than one teacher. My kids all had several classes and so, several teachers during middle schools as a way to prepare them for H.S.
If you meant that you are 7 years of age, thats 1st or 2nd grade depending on when you started school and the same things I say now apply.
If you are in just one class, one teacher the entire day, I can see missing your friend A and missing the time seeing her. However, in class when one should be paying attention, learning and studying, just sitting next to a friend but not being able to talk and visit and do stuff together is not the best way to spend time with a friend. In fact, if that's the only time you see her, that is not much of a friendship at all, no time to actually work on just hanging out together as friends. Just because you know her and her presence is in the same room, is a poor substitute for a relationship and I wouldn't call it one at all. If you only ever see her at school and never spend time together at lunch or after school or on weekends, in my eyes, that is NOT a friendship, she's just an aquaintence at school, a person you know. My solution to your situation is for you to find time to spend with your friend outside of school. It is possible even if you don't live all that close, the parents can take turns driving you over on weekends and you can chat via phone or computer during the week.
I will tell you now that school staff usually do not move children around to other classes for a good reason. Kids in 7th grade are still a bit insecure and have a great need to feel they belong and are liked and have friends and in their minds this takes a higher importance than anything. Whereas teachers highest goal is that you learn the subject well and pass with high grades and from history, having your friend in a class didn't factor in to a kid getting higher grades. And so they will not see this as an issue to make a change. What if there are 30 kids in each class and ten in yours including you wanting to go to the other class? If the school officials allowed it, one teacher would have it easy with just 20 kids while the other is burdened with 40.
Lastly, I would like to get across the message that you fear stealing of friends. Unless she is your slave and you "own" her, she can't be stolen from you. People and 'friends' are not property and therefore you have no claim to owning them. I understand your fear and why you used that word, but hon, the more you think that word, write it and say it, your sub conscious mind hears it and thinks this is terrible and wants to change it so you're happy again. But this is real life, and life doesnt always go the way we want and if you don't learn that now, you will be miserable until you do learn it in your teen years or as an adult. If plan A in your mind is the "Only" way things can pan out in your life, you're setting yourself up mentally for a very miserable life. You need to come up with a plan B for things like this that in most cases can't be changed.
I say, learn to enjoy the friends you've made in class the little you can. And spend time with A outside of class. Yeah, you have to work harder to be a friend and see A now, but guess what, most adults do not work with their best friends and so don't see them during the day either and have to see them in the evenings, after work or on the weekends, or chat on phone, text, skype, just as I am suggesting to you.
Good Luck.
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