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Anxiety
I have really bad anxiety. I self harm partly because of it. My mom is thinking about homeschooling me or doing half days. Do you think this is a good idea?
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I'm with Suzanne, homeschooling won't make you better. It enables you to continue to hide.
What you did not say was that you wanted to learn how to get rid of your anxiety and ask us how.
Just in case that also is a question on your mind, I again have to agree, Suzanne shared some good ideas.
Before I go on, in some cases, anxiety is merely a person's mind needing to be retrained to do more positive thinking. And its more bad habits than a chemical deficiency in your bodys makeup, in your brain. There are medications for anxiety today that work well for many. However, if it's not a life threatening immediate issues, I am always one for trying first other ways to solve an issue on my own before running to the doctor. However if you give it a shot and try what was suggested here and it doesnt work, you may need counseling from someone to help diagnos if its a cognitive disorder than counseling can help you break in cognitive behavioral therapy or whether you'll need to be on medication. It's not just a teen thing. I know of a few adults who are on anxiety medicine.
So, along the lines of self help first, and retraining your brain, every time an anxious negative thought comes into your mind, I want you to acknowledge it but tell yourself that since you are not a psychic that see's the future, your thoughts are not something to worry about in the future, immediate or not, and replace it with a positive thought, something that makes you happy, maybe imagining yourself on a trip to Hawaii, or whatever works for you. At first, you'll be astounded at how often these negative anxious thoughts come. I had some therapy after leaving an abusive husband. Verbal abuse. So my thinking was pretty convoluted and needed some straightening out and this is what I was taught, to capture each negative thought. Man was it exhausting. At first, you'll find that you have negative thoughts return at a rate of about two per minute. Yep...that extreme and yet you don't realize it's that extreme until you start taking a count. Then maybe you can go 5 minutes without a negative thought and boom it sneaks in again. But the end of a day, I was mentally exhausted from doing this and it was a drag to greet each new day, knowing i'd have to face more of the same exhausting mind work. But it does pay off dear if you are someone who doesn't actually require Drs diagnosis and prescription.
After a couple weeks I could look back and see I had made progress, I was faster to recognize the presence of a negative thought instead of getting tricked into dwelling on it. I had to get better or this was going to affect any future relationship and in the end, ultimately my life. I am sure you feel the same.
Along the lines of saying personal mantras, I have a link to share, while not quite speaking mantra's it does help you learn to speak to yourself positively and it is called tapping. You may want to give it a try and see if it helps you. I have a favorite guy on line who does this. I'll give a link to his youtube blog and you can watch any of the videos you think might apply, repeat the tapping actions of your body which may seem silly but I swear it works. and repeat the things he says. First is an instructional:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
And here is his youtube page. Try the first listed video that plays and then try more. Even tho I am in a great 2nd marriage, life has stresses and we all still make mistakes or judgement errors and that stress all adds up. I still like to use these at times. But in the beginning, use it daily if not twice a day, first thing in morning and again before going to bed. In fact, Brad Yates has one specifically for morning and evening. Here's that link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Lastly, how long is enough time to break a bad habit if this is all you're dealing with? It took me a good 2 months of daily steady work at it before my new habit become the new automatic response and yet some places say it can be 21 days as in this link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
If after giving this all some time to work, 2 months for sure, and you have no difference in your level of anxiety, then talk to the parents about taking you to see the doctor.Good luck dear...and stick with it. The results are worth it
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Your self harm, or the urge to self-sabotage or punish youself comes from your insecurity. You need to build up your self esteem and you have to know what to tell yourself.
You are way too much inside your own head im guessing, and you are constantly thinking things are going to go wrong or that you are not good enough. Well thats just not true.
Being surrounded by a sea of people everyday and wanting to fit in and wanting to other peoples approval or to just not come off awkward is a lot of pressure. But you know in life, and this will help get you through it, the only person whose approval you need is your own. (Or your parents and teachers for those young adults out there)
Stop questioning yourself if you are good enough and start telling it to yourself. I have just recently started going to youtube and listening to daily affirmation videos on self esteem and I repeat the mantras out loud. If you dont want anyone to hear it put on some headphones and say it in your head. You need to train your brain.
I tell anyone who has anxiety that when you get too overwhelmed you need to pause, breathe, and counter any negative thoughts with a positive one. If you are doing your work and cant focus, take a break walk away for a few and give yourself time to calm down and tell yourself you can do it.
Write down all the things you like about yourself and keep adding to the list and read it everyday. In fact, make a list of the alphabet and for each letter write something positive.
Taking you out of school is not going to solve the problem its just going to give you a hiding place or a comfort zone. You need to face the world with a head full of positivity and self reinforcement. Repeated thought processes work you just have to give yourself the right ones.
If it has to happen, I say take the half days and go back to full when you have trained your brain into being able to focus, knowing you can do anything and that you are individually great!
Remember, to take it easy one step at a time. Dont look at the end result, just start with baby steps. Nothing worth anything great is ever easy or fast. You have to put effort and time into something to see results. Reinforce yourself one day at a time and eventually you will be in a better place.
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Few kids get that opportunity when they have problems like that due to various reasons, so I say go for it. It could help your situation/condition, so you should try it. You can also try medication or therapy. There are all-natural meds out there, too. I am on all-natural meds for depression, and they work for me. You can just try the homeschooling or half days, and see how it goes for you.
Hope this helps~
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