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Depression
I've been depressed and had a lot of anxiety. I can't sleep or pay attention. My parents try to get me to talk to them and tell them what's going on but I can't open up. How can I open up and tell them that I'm not okay?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Lots of times just talking to someone that will hear you out without judgement is a great way to relieve anxiety. You must have SOMETHING on your mind that makes you anxious. Coming clean is a great way to do it. I read this book called. "why am I afraid to tell you who I am?" The answer is basically, because "if I tell you who I am, and you don't like it, its all I've got." So people will go out of their way and make themselves miserable by not saying what they wanna say. The book stresses the importance for humans to have someone at least one person they can communicate with without fear of being judged. My nephew finally opened up to his parents about what was going on in his mind, that caused him a lot of stress to hold on to it. He thought they would explode if they found out. But one day he decided to come clean and deal with the possible consequences cause hiding it forever and not being able to be open was worse. So he told them that he is abandoning the family religion. He believes different things. They didn't explode, they were glad he told them and respected his decision. He also told them he smokes weed from time to time. (another huge nono when it comes to parents [or so we think]) They didn't explode that time either. And they love him just the same. Clearly your parents love you too and want what's best for you and want you to be happy. If you don't have someone you can talk to without fear of judgement, and you must (or want) to talk to your parents. Writing whats going on with you can help you see more clearly. You can even write a letter to them telling them what's going on with you. Then not send it. If you ARE ready to send it, then I suggest saying that you are willing to talk, but ONLY on your own terms. Remind them how difficult it can be for a son/daughter to talk to their parents. Since they are also sons and daughters with parents. So they've been where you are, and can relate. Explain that its hard for you to communicate this to them and by doing it this way, you can be more open. Otherwise, its not gonna happen. After they agree, tell them you wish to do it through emails or facebook messages or some other written form. Under the condition that they don't just read the message and come talk to you. Writing back and fourth gives you a chance to be more clear, and for them to be more clear and more importantly, think about their response instead of just reacting. Then once you understand each other, you can move on to talking in person. I also told my highly religious parents I didn't believe in their religion. And that I've tried drugs. They didn't freak out or explode either. Good luck! I recommend that book. Its an easy read with a lot of great insights. Hope this helps!
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Anxiety comes from being too overwhelmed. First, stop taking on everyone elses problems as your own thats theirs to deal with and you have your own priorities. Whatever it is that is bugging you or making you nervous, you have to understand that everything is a process. You cant have instant gratification, and you always need to start at step 1. Then take the next step, and so on and so forth. The next time you feel anxiety, pause, take some deep breaths, and say to yourself I am not going to get overwhelmed, everything will work itself out. Always tell yourself positive reinforcements. Repeated thought processes work you just have to give yourself the right ones. If you think "I cant" all the time you are already self defeating yourself. Next time you have a negative thought, counter it with a positive one. Make a list of all your strong points and reread it as much as you can and keep adding to it. You are great and you can do anything. If you cant focus on something, pause, breathe and tell yourself its ok and you can do this. Always be positive and take one step at a time. You cant go from A to Z without going thru all the other letters first and Rome wasnt built in a day. Give yourself positive daily affirmations everyday and you will see better results in yourself. When you are calmer and not so worked up you can tell your parents whats bugging you. They love you and want to help.
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