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my guy friend wanted to kiss me?
okay. this is kinda long. So i am a 15 going on 16 sophmmore in high school. I have had this crush on my guy friend (lets call him AM) since september of last year. Him and i are very close friends. He helped me through my breakups, i helped him through his, we text nearly everyday and him and i can be open to each other about family problems and depression and he is the only one who knows i cut. Him and i dated for a day back in november but broke up because he felt like he rushed and i understood. Him and i talk romantically on and off ever since then. We say "i love you" to each other, we hug each other. Lately though, he has been doing some things with me that are kind of not normal. Like on my birthday (april
14th) he gave me a hug from the back and then he looked me in the eyes and said "i love you" and i said it back. Then after that, he sat me down on thee pavillion table and he put his arms around my waist and he put his head on my shoulder and we did that until the bell rang (people were around when we sid this). Him and i never kissed before but that all changed when on wednesday he told me to come kiss him in the morning behind the buses by his car. So i went and him and i met up and he didn't kiss me on the lips once but twice. I couldnt even believe it. After that he said "i bet that made your day didn't it" and i said "yeah" then he said he liked M and i said i liked a different guy but deep down i like A. Does he like me and i just do not know? what do i do?
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Listen hun I'm 13 and I know where this is going buts good that's exactly how I'd do it take it slow and give hugs but kiss at 16 but you in high school you might not listen to me but the answer is obvious, this is a green light I'm standing behind and beeping, please don't let the others pass by or you could get hurt.
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I support what Karen said, time to have a good talk. this means being truthful dear, its not a weakness to tell him the whole truth either.
Before I continue about you, i want to say that the most healthy couple relationships have two things, the romance part and the attraction there and also being best of friends.
He sounds like he's wanted to be more than friends for some time and finally got the courage to kiss you. It shows even more courage and how much he wanted to when there where others around who might witness this but wasn't scared to be seen like that with you, actually proud instead.
When he said he liked you, did you leave out anything in your story to us. Hopefully you told him that you like him too. But what I read was your answer being that you liked saomeone else. If you really said that, why? Do yoou feel you're not worthy of having a boyfriend? Or afraid of entering that dating realm? I ask because if I were him and you said , it would break my heart to have these feelings for so long and have you act like you like me in return but not have the guts to say so. I would not be willing to try any longer with a girl who said she likes another guy but be hesitant because her actions say the opposite. In the end, if a bold enough girl came along paying attention to AM, he might just give up on you and begin dating her thinking it wont bother you since you basically professed to not have those kinds of romantic feelings for him as well.
So, are you trying to push him away?
If your only reason for acting like this is that you're not sure if he likes you, then that sounds lame and would to most but I understand first time love, it can be scary but rewarding too and I am sure you dont want to lose him to another girl.
So to help you understand that he's crazy about you, lets play a game. I want you to think of a guy you find boring, repulsive and want nothing to do with. Now imagine yourself approaching that guy and being, doing, saying everything that AM does with you. Would you even do this on a dare from friends and do so for months on end? I'll bet you wouldn't, you couldn' fake wanting to kiss him and say I love you to him all the time if you feared he might take you seriously which of course he would because of all the things you do are thing a person does with someone they are attracted to not someone they want to avoid a relationship with.
If you are wondering if the only thing he wants from you is sex, then My guess is that conclusion is wrong. A guy bent on getting what he wants sexually will pretend to love a girl but is much bolder and will have tried kissing and touching you in private places long before now as that urge is very strong and they dont want to put in this much effort to get just that only.
He's been a listening ear, supportive, is good at keeping in touch and pretty open so far about sharing sentiments like I love you. He could have meant love as in loving you as a friend or a sister but when he kissed you, nope thats reserved for the other love, the romantic one, the one where he wants only you for a girlfriend and wont pressure yu, will wait thru all your dating and interest in other guys and hope that one day you actually really want only him as your boyfriend. I am pretty sure of this but this is why you have to have a good long private talk. And not on the phone if possible. Something like this needs seeing the truth in what each of you say, reflected in your eyes. I would get on this and sharing the Truth and when you don't understand what he means when he phrases words a certain way, then ASK him what he meant by that. Ask he to clarify or even better, pose it as a question with two examples of how you interpet it, "Did you mean you like me as a best friend or when you say I love you, do you mean that as being in love with me and wanting me to be your girlfriend?". Too many misinterpretations, and lost opportunity in dating or even marrying a person happen because we second guess too much and dont just ask questions.
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You mentioned that you two talk to each other about everything. I think its time for more talk. Tell him how you feel because he might have feelings for you but be afraid to just say so.
Be sure you tell him that his wanting to kiss you is sending mixed feelings. Does he want a relationship with you or not? If not...no kissing!
Hope it goes the way you want it to. Talk.
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