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My mom is forcing me to see a college
My mother is making me take a whole day out of my April vacation to see a college that's like an hour away. I told her that I didn't want to go because I'm only a sophomore and it isn't even the summer yet, but she wouldn't listen. A friend invited me to go somewhere fun that day but now I can't because she's forcing me to go see a crappy public college that I don't want to see. She thinks that there's no time like this week to see this public college. What do you think?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I'm old enough to be your grandfather so I am going to offer you some grandfatherly advice.
Given the question you have asked, and I will answer it with what I think. It does not matter what we think. Given your age you're too young to win this fight with your mother. To make a big stink or to make this visit totally unpleasant for both of you; you can only end up bad for you.
Given the facts as you presented them It is understandable why your mother would want to start looking at colleges early. The same information would explain why she is encouraging you to start looking at colleges now. It is really not all that early to start looking at colleges now especially if you have the grades to apply for early admission. Which you could start doing as early of next year.
Suggestion: Since there is something you want to do on the day mom wants to visit this college. Rather than fight her and say things like its too early, I'm not interested or other things. Tell her you have been invited to go someplace that day. Ask her if it is possible to go another day and you will go willingly without complaint. This is called a compromise.
My answer to your question. Part of my answer is in the above. If you have the grades to apply for early admission then this summer would be the time to start looking at colleges. You should be starting to eliminate those schools that do not offer the course you need to get into Dental School.
In state colleges cost less than out of state or private colleges. If your parents are going to be footing the bill for your education. Then the time to start discussing which schools they can afford is at hand.
Is mom wrong in forcing you to visit this school. That is a yes and no answer. She is a bit ahead of time in what she is trying to do though I can't say she is wrong.
In the end though as I said in the beginning. If you cannot find a compromise with her and you continue to fight with her; then you can only be hurt by doing so. So think before you act.
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Do you even plan to go to college? Do you have any ideas of a degree you'd like to go after? Do your parents intend to fund the cost of you going to college? If you plan to go, they plan to pay, then they need to be saving up now for the time when you will be ready to attend a college, so maybe that is why she's thinking it important to check out a college. I can't see how visiting a campus really gives you a feel for a place. You can learn alot by checking up on it on line. Now if it was the end of your jr. yr in HS, and you intend to attend a college, then I can see this being important. Attending college or not and which college you go to and what degree you will be studying and going for are all going to be your own decision. You will be an adult at the time you attend and have a right to do that which interests you. If you'd rather work a few years and later go to college, thats fine too as long as its what you want to do. Parents may try to influence their childs decision while they are not yet 18, and can often be successful in moving them to do what the parent wants them to do, not what they want, like attend a college they attended--some college pride thing, or they want to you follow a long line of certain occupations in the family whether it be lawyers, doctors, police, etc that sometimes run in the family. Not everyone is cut out for or has a heart for a certain profession. Starting now, to follow your parents wishes on everything that will affect you when you are of legal adult age, just could set you up to have them continue to try 'parenting' you once you're an adult, trying to still influence your decisions to be what they want. This would be wrong. And you would need to stand up for your right to make decisions as an adult on your own/. It's trickier when you're younger and a parent is trying to force your future. They may have a good point, knowing you as well as they do and are simply trying to get you to see something as important. I would think, If you are willing to do both, ask Mom to plan taking you another day as you already have something planned with a friend, or ask the friend if what she has planned can be done another day so Mom can take you to visit a college. If you have no desire to go to college, Mom needs to know. If she insists on you going, she's the one wasting her time as visiting won't change your mind, but you'll have at least kept the peace with her for the next two years or until you turn 18.
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