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My cousin is super attached to his mom
Ok so everyone is attached to their parents when we're little but for me and him our moms were always taking the easy way out and would take off and leave when ever they wanted luckily for me I had my dad but he never met his dad . I was always super attached to my mom but then something had clicked in my head that she wasn't the person I thought she was that was at around 11 and I am now 14 but hes about to be 13 and is too attached to his mom because he doesn't want her to leave and he's really obsessive with her whenever out aunt takes us out to get our minds off of stuff all he wants to do is call his mom and when she doesn't answer he just keeps on calling and literally bugs her until the point where she turns off her phone and says it's dead when it isn't i. Our whole family has tried to talk to him that he needs to be less attached but he always gets angry and thinks we don't want his mom around him when it's the opposite this is how it's been his whole life but recently I have realized it more because what teenager turns down hanging out with his friends to spend time with his mom Ive told my sister that he might need to talk to a shrink or something but I'm afraid he will just get mad and think were calling him crazy
So I want to know is how can I get him to understand that being with his mom every second of every day is not healthy for him
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Missudersmock is right, I agree, though I am not a mental health counselor, I've lived long enough and read enough to know that even if a baby is given up for adoption and is never told so, some can exhibit some of the behaviors of a person suffering abandonment issues. So it stands to reason that he, never having met his biological Father and the man for whatever reason not being part of the family unit in any way, he feels abandoned. Yes, he may get over it on his own. But then again, he may not without some professional help. I'd watch him closely and be ready to report any odd or worse behavior to aunt and mom when it comes to negative thinking. If there is anything wrong, it is likely to first show at puberty which is close to that age for you both. Some issues with humans will slowly grow worse as the years go by and eventually become more obvious.
I'm attaching a link to an article about CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It's a short term solution to the disorder he has. People suffering from abnormal to negative thought processes that influence their behavior is the issue. Everyone gets negative thoughts in their heads but most people don't act them out in negative or unwanted behavior in real life.
You may want to show this link to Mom or Auntie so they are aware such a thing exists because I believe it can help him.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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ok i think whats going on here is because of the fact that he never met his dad and didnt have that extra person in his life like you did that you need to cut him some slack on this issue. He probably feels like his dad left and his mom might possibly do the same to him on day too so hes afraid to lose her but doesnt want to admit it.
He might be feeling like shes all he has (even if thats not true his feelings have obviously been ingrained him in since he was very young and has probably secretly been feeling this way since he was little) what needs to happen is his mother needs to talk to him ALONE about this and she needs to tell him that she will never leave him, that she loves him and is always going to be here for him but that everyone has lives they need to live and he needs to go out and do the same.
This might not seem like it has an impact at first but as he gets older he will remember this conversation and as he grows as a person he will want his own independence. He IS still young though so this degree of attachment isnt THAT uncommon. He will grow out of it, but make sure that no one makes him feel like hes stupid or acting like a baby or making him feel down about it or he will always think he needs to shut himself off to you all emotionally.
i say lay off of him for a while and tell your family to do the same. the only person that can fix this issue is him and his mother talking it out. either that or he'll grow out of it and you just need to give him some time.
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It sounds like he is just very dependant. There is nothing wrong with this but it could lead to problems down the road when he has to start being more independent. I wouldn't try to force anything upon him. Some people just take longer to become independent, although in some cases it is due to anxiety. He needs people he can trust and who will support him. Instead of telling him there's something wrong with him, be the support he needs and help him get out more. You are both still quite young. Having a good relationship with your parents is extremely important. It sounds as though neither of you do though, which is not your fault. Any mother who lies to her child about her phone being dead because they are bugging her, doesn't care about that child the way they need her to. It sounds like you've been betrayed in some way and you think because you've decided to change, he should too. It's really hard to say.
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