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My cousin is destroying my life and family relationships
Me and my cousin used to be friends. Real close. That all changed when my family became homeless and I had to spend time with her more often. I felt very uncomfortable around her. The reason is because she has a hoarding problem just like her mom. She also has an issue with personal hygiene. She doesn't shower or cleans her clothes properly. Her mom is a pet and toy hoarder that lives in the basement of my grandma's house. I can't even enter the basement because it's so full of toys, clothes, cages, and pets (dead and alive). I couldn't stand being in that house because I felt so filthy just standing there by the front door. My cousin has not only no sense of personal hygiene, but no acknowledgment of personal space or boundaries. She has attempted to grope me multiple times during my homeless days and tried kissing me just to make me feel uncomfortable. I've told her that I don't want her doing that to me but she ignores it. It has driven me away from our friendship and now I can't stand her anymore.
Her mom died recently and now she has to stay with my family over the weekend and it's caused me to be beyond stressed. She's behaved inappropriately in my home and has been given a free pass to do so. Normally my mom would tell everyone to keep quiet, but now she's been telling only me to be quiet. She's even told me that she wants to replace me with my cousin and now I feel that everyone in my family really does hate me. My dad tells me that he strongly dislikes my cousin for the same reasons I do (loud, inappropriate, sexual, ect.) but still makes me feel like I'm the one with the problem. Just today I asked my cousin if she could keep it down because I'm sick and my head has been hurting and she tells me no because "you're loud all the time anyway, so don't tell me to be quiet." She then called me a jerk for this. I'm sick of this "free pass" to behave this way and I'm sick of being made the main suspect with this problem. What exactly have I done wrong? Get sick with a pounding headache? I can't even discuss this with my family because they'll say "you should've been nicer to her." She doesn't deserve my kindness any longer. She doesn't even deserve to be treated like an innocent baby. I honestly don't care if her mom is dead or not, she needs to stop acting this way.
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I completely understand where your coming from. Sometimes it's not easy living with someone, even one your close to. Your parents shouldn't give her special treatment, but I guess they feel they have to considering her loss. You didn't do anything wrong. I wouldn't done the same, and have! I've lived with someone I love very much, but it wasn't easy because there are no manners and would always leave me with a mess to clean up. Maybe you need a little break. When someone is Annoying you this bad, sometimes you need to be able to ignore them for a little while. See about maybe staying over at a friend's house, that way you can cool off and have a little break. I've lived with someone like that, and it always helps to stay at another's house and be able to forget about them for a little while and keep your mind off things. Do what you can to ignore her for a while, that way your parents won't get mad when you get annoyed. Being annoyed is gonna happen when you live with someone like that, so the best thing to do is get away for a while
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You didn't do anything wrong. Your family is just being stupid, and your cousin is doing the stuff wrong. I think you shouldn't give her any special treatment, and avoid her as much as possible. If you're close to getting out of the house, then there's always hope for that, and you can get out ASAP. If it gets worse, then confront your family all out. Don't take their crap, especially your cousin.
Hope this helps~
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