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A New Friend
Hello! I wrote a question on this same question before entitled "My Brother's Friend" but I have new information to add. I know you can just add it to my other question but I didn't know if it would repost as new again. So, if you read my other question, you can just skip to the bottom where I added new stuff or just ignore me, whatever you prefer.
So anyway, long story short-my friend and I went to an apartment that belongs to my brother and his three friends to hang out two weekends ago. I am female and twenty and all of these guys are twenty as well, with my brother being twenty three. All of our friends are all of age and they go to the bar a lot so when that happens, we all hang out with each other since we're all underage.
I thought there was only three people in this apartment but there's was one other one that I didn't know about and that's who I am going to be talking about. His name is Joe.
All night long Joe has been catching my eye. I thought he was super cute and I really liked his personality but he was always around all of the other guys on the couch and my friend and I were sitting on the stairs. My brother got up to go outside and smoke a cigarette, he asked Joe to go and he said sure, so they went out and as they were outside, my friend told me that he was definitely watching me too. So when they came back in, I talked to him. He told me that he was just telling my brother that he thought we had a class together freshman year which I thought was cute that he remembered because we are both juniors now.
A few minutes after that, my brother got up to get a drink and Joe went upstairs to get his computer to play music for us all, so my friend and I moved to the couch and when they all came back, it somehow ended that Joe was next to me on the couch and his roommate that thought my friend was cute, was right next to her.
A few minutes of sitting with each other, him running his fingers up and down my arm or grabbing at my hand, elbowing me and talking about work and school and what we like to do for fun, he handed me his phone to put my number in and I did. My brother even asked him to go out for a cigarette again, he told my brother he was out but I knew he wasn't, when my brother went outside, Joe told me he had some, he just wanted to spend more time with me.
Around two in the morning, my brother started to get antsy and wanted to leave, since I drove him, my friend and I had to leave too. I lost track of Joe by this time and I didn't really want to keep my brother waiting so I just thought to send him a quick text when I got outside. So I texted him that I'd see him whenever my brother wanted to come back. Not to go into full detail, a few of his texts said that I didn't need my brother to go back, I was always welcome there, he's glad that we met that night since he usually goes to concerts on the weekends - he said he was happy he couldn't make it to the concert he was planning on going to that weekend because he was able to meet me, he told me I'm cute and I should swing over whenever. We even made plans for my friend and I to go over the next night to hang out. Well, the next night, he didn't even text me that he was home and that we could go over whenever. I even tried to give him an out by telling him that my brother left something there the night before and I could stop over to get it (which he did actually leave something) and he just never answered me.
The Thursday before the next weekend, I texted him and asked if he would be around that weekend and he said he would be at a concert tomorrow (Friday) but he'll be home Saturday and asked why. I told him that Friday, my brother, friend and I wanted to stop in but if the roommate that liked my friend and Joe wasn't going to be there that we wouldn't stop in and he said "you base your plans off of us?" and I told him that no, we don't, we had other places to go, we just wanted to stop in and hang out for a little and he replied "oh, I see." So, I joked back that not everything is about them and he didn't answer.
A few hours later, he texted me and asked what I was up to. I told him what I was doing and everything, we talked for a little and then he texted me goodnight so I joked with him that he's lame. He told me if I'm bored, he could come pick me up but it was snowy and cold, so I didn't want him to be out in that just for me and that's exactly what I told him and he didn't answer after that.
Now, just last night, my friend and I were talking about how we wanted to go to their place next weekend because it's the weekend before Spring Break and the roommate that she likes and Joe should be home. So, my friend texted the one roommate and asked if we could and he said most definitely. I texted Joe and told him that with the okay from the other roommate, my friend and I were going to visit next weekend and crash their party and that I hoped he was there. He didn't answer.
So, I guess I'm just still confused. He answers my texts and he's nice sometimes, I guess when he wants to be. But when I text him plans of mine, he doesn't answer. Like he completely ignored both texts that I sent him about stopping by. But he offered to pick me up one night when I was out doing something and he was at home hanging out with his roommates watching netflix.
I'm just lost as to why when he already has all of his friends over at his place, why he chooses to ignore my offer to stop by. But he answers me, when I tell him that I'm bored with my other friends, on a week night, that he can pick me up, when he has nobody over. Don't you think he would be okay with and even want me to stop by when he already has a small party? Plus I feel like when he doesn't answer my texts that I'm just annoying him and I don't want to do that. Any help is appreciated.
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I remember you. That first night he sure made himself sound interested in getting to know you better and its okay if you come over without your brother. But you're giving him opportunity to take you up on meeting together and he's not responding. It's one thing if he's busy but there should be at least one time that works or he makes a counter offer of a time and date if he's really that interested in you. He may not have any interest in having a girlfriend, just a friend who is female, to talk to. Have you asked why he hasn't answered previous texts? You could try being very direct with him, but you need to be ready to handle any answer,even one you may not want to hear. Example: "Hey, when I met you at the apartment with my brother, you seemed to have some level of interest in me. Maybe I misread how interested you were. You did offer to stay in touch and that it was okay to meet with you sometimes. I have offered invites and you haven't responded. So I'd like to know if you are interested to pursue me, and if so, whether as just a friend, or a girl friend. I do not want to keep bothering you if you have changed your mind so please be honest with me." You should get an answer if the guy has any good manners. If not, you need to decide whether you want to keep chasing after something that may never come to be. If you do not like a guy who can't be consistant in interest level, can't be honest with you, is not communicative, all of which he may be, then it might be best not to settle for less and hange around keeping yourself available for him in case he wakes up and lose out on chances with other guys. Remember the things that you don't like and do like about a guy and when the next comes along, choose according to what you like and don't want. Hang out with a guy long enough to discover if he's someone you do or do not want to make a commiment to become his girlfriend. Good luck.
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