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He left
Thanks for the advice but he literally just left me. He told me that he's in love with my best friend and that I'm annoying and I never give him space. Ive been with him ever since January 1st and we used to be happy. He just now told me that he stopped loving me at the end of that month because I loved someone else. He's totally wrong because I only have eyes for him. I guess that doesn't matter now because he's gone and he doesn't even care if I kill myself. I thought he was different.
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He knows you only have eyes for him, he just wants someone else to pin the blame on. I'm sorry. It's hard now, but one day you will find that someone who truly cares about you for who you are. Maybe even the last person you would expect. You may be looking at the school jock while your Prince Charming is the class nerd. it's hard losing someone you care about, but don't lock yourself up in your house, get out and talk to people. Get your most trusting friends together, and see if they know someone, even if you don't fall in love right away, maybe love will blossom and you will have someone to keep your mind off the jerk who ran after your best friend
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I don't know who you wrote to before dear, but this time its in the general adivice for any advice giver to see.
I do have a comment though regarding Your words: He just now told me that he stopped loving me at the end of that month because I loved someone else.
If it is truly love that one person feels for another, it does not matter if that love is returned or that person loves someone else or they are mistaken about the persons love in return for them, none of those things will instantly kill a persons love.
So may I suggest that while he may have said he used to love you, used the love word, he truly did not have a good enough grip on his exact emotions for you and only called it love when it was actually something else, maybe just a like or attraction or lust. Guys easily confuse Lust with Love. Many guys can be attracted by just looks to a girl or surface level things they can witness just by observing her. But it doesnt go any deeper which is needed to truly fall in love.
More often, it is immaturity of the guy or perhaps the both of them that cause a partner to point the finger at you and list your faults as a reason not not getting along and wanting to break up.
But, in some cases, both due to naivety and inexperience in dating and relationship do's and don'ts, both partys could truly be doing something to irritate the other, however I do not think the irritance enough to be good grounds for an irrepairable relationship. More likely it's a lack of communication, accusations and finger pointing, and general inexperience and immaturity that make one or both partners give up.
With that all said, You cannot do anything to change his mind if he is determined to make this a final break and never come back. Do not go after him, beggining him to come back as that will make you look desperate, and usually is the behavior of someone with low self confidence, feeling that they won't be able to ever attract another guy once they get over the loss of the current one.
Dating and relationships can be painful. There is no way to protect yourself from the hurt of a breakup, or disappointments at the very least if checking out a new guy yields some character problems and you never become his girlfriend.
Just to be on the safe side, I suggest looking up counseling videos on you tube for women, dating do's and don'ts to make sure you are not inadvertently doing things that are a turn off to guys. Keep in mind that even if all else is perfect about a person, chemistry/romance is needed to make it work, if neither feels it or if you do and he does not, it is for the best, as it will not work out long term and the one not feeling chemistry may look elsewhere and cheat.
Relationships aren't easy, they are complicated to learn how to navigate and how to understand and handle the opposite sex. Relationships are not for the timid, the weak or those with self image issues. They are hard work but the rewards though are mind bending if you can get it right in choice of a guy. Instead of waiting for a guy to notice you and ask you out, (after you get over your hurt and depression over losing this one) I suggest making a list of what you are looking for in a guy, think of a famous actress you admire for looks, and imagine yourself as looking like her and attracting the kind of attention she does. I did that. It works like crazy. I focused on just my eyes to experiment imagining my eyes looking like a certain actress'es. I would review that same thought every time I left the house and I couldn't believe how many people starting commenting on how pretty my eyes were. I am not kidding, it works. It's a great way to 'borrow' the self confidence of a celebrity until you develop your own. Then self confidence with a list of what you're looking for in a guy, if you see someone you're attracted to, meet him and spend enough time only with him to discover if he meets your criteria, then you choose him to date. If you place yourself in the position of control, your chances are better at finding a good guy.
If I can help you in any other way on the same topic, let me know by writing to me from my column.
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