|
Should I get back with EX (he had another girl pregnant...)
To make a long story short, I was dating this guy, but before we were officially together he slept with this other girl. Then when we got together he still tried to help her out, because she's homeless, no job, no education, no family etc. Then a few weeks later he finds out she's pregnant with his baby. He immediately tells me and says he needs to be single for the time being, because he needs to help her through the pregnancy, the other girl seeing him with any one else would make her angry at him. I took him for his word that I did nothing wrong, and he wanted to be single which was fine. Come to find out this girl posts that they are in a relationship, not even two weeks after he breaks up with me, and then she posts more that she is upset because he won't tell his mother, or any of his friends about her. At his request she takes the" in a relationship" post down, because he was worried about how i would feel. Then she has a miscarriage, and now he says he isn't with her. He says he wants to be single, but he also doesn't want to be alone. He also said the only reason he broke up with me was because of this girl. Since then we have made up and have started to become friends again, i.e. going out socially, hanging out etc. I still really like him, not just on a physical level, I like him as a person too. I would like to give a relationship a new try, but I'm unsure if he would want to or if its a good idea. So should I just ask him, or is he not worth my time? By the way I am a 22 year old girl, he is 23.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
M view on this is that you deserve better because you are a QUEEN! Do want someone whose promising or someone not serious ! Its not my decision who you chose but just think about your worth and do you desrve better. And trust me there will be other guys , just focuss on being you completely and you dream man will come !
YOU are a QUEEN a GODESs of love !
Waste not your time on boys but intead seek men !
Love yoursel and he will come to you !
Kimmie
]
My advice will be different than some of the others as I do not think it is our place to make this type of decision for you. What we can do is based on what you have written to us is give you an outsiders view of your situation and give you options. This is what I do with these type questions.
You need to first understand that both of you are still very young and have time to make commitments. Even though he is a year older than you; from a maturity standpoint you are older than him by about 2 years. Boys mature slower than girls do and really do not catch up to them until the late twenties or early thirties.
What this means is while you are looking for a relationship which would lead to settling down and marriage. He is still back in his late teens where the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. He is not ready for commitments and I am surprised he manned up for the other girl when she was pregnant; it does not fit what you have written though it does show proper values.
Is he worth your time and effort? I don't think it is for any of us to say yes or no. You say you like him, you do not say you love him. Where you ever in a friends with benefits type of relationship or are you now? If you were then my feeling is this is what he wants from you as he lusts for you more than any love he might have.
You don't use the word love nor do you write about any sex life you two may have. You write you date, going out socially and hanging out. If you feel he might be worth the time and effort to bring to a loving relationship then I think you two need to have a serious conversation.
In this conversation you tell him your feelings and what you expect from this relationship. He needs to be just as open with you. Is he looking for a serious relationship or are you just a vessel for his lust. Once you have this information then you will know how to proceed.
]
This whole situation sounds a bit hairy to me. You says he broke up with HER now but he "doesnt want to be alone either"?? Do you really wanna be his plan B? Cause thats what it sounds like here.
Its sounding like hes saying he doesnt want to get serious with you but he doesnt want to be alone either. If your ok with being what sounds like hes trying to turn you into friends with benefits then thats fine, but if you want more i would look else where. It also sounds like he only dumped you to be with her because he had to, and when one of them realized it wasnt realistic and it didnt work out she may have "conveniently" miscarried. I cannot tell you how many times ive seen girls fake being pregnant or think that having this guys child will make him stay. it also never works BTW.
(((maybe im on the suspicious side of things here but ive seen it happen ALOT in my time)))
Look inside yourself and think about what you want.
personally, i wouldnt get back with someone that got someone else pregnant (weather we were officially together or not at that point) then tried to come back to me. i would feel like their sloppy seconds and an after thought in his eyes and like in the future i could get left easier. thats just me though.
]
You should put yourself out there if you want to be in a relationship, in other words, tell him how you feel! If he doesn't want the same thing, then screw him! If you really like this guy go for it, but if you believe he'll end up making the same mistake don't waste your time girl. It's not worth it.
-Trust me, Betty knows.
]
More Questions: |