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how do i get the guy ...
I'm a female 20 yrs of age and I'm in a need of advice asap it goes like this so I have a guy in the group of male friends I have we've all been around each other for 5 yrs + I always had a major crush but this guy seemed shy and guarded well recently the guard seems 75% down, I think I messed up though we've already become intimate and I thought I wouldn't catch feelings but I am. My main question is how do I get him to want to be more serious with me I think there could be something more, he said tonight that he isn't ready to take it to another notch so soon ( as we've only really begun a flirty \intimate relationship he comes over to my house almost every night to see my roommate his guy best friend and we always end up flirting all night and sleeping together I wake up to him being all cuddly and sweet but I just don't know what I am doing here I'm lost and would love some advice please I really think this guy is something special for some reason I'm pretty stuck on it ...
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Plain and simple: tell him you don't want to do anything sexual and it will get serious. Guys are lazy. They like to get whatever they can sexually without putting any effort in. If you are available for him to fondle every night without any commitment, you are sending him the message that he doesn't have to put any emotional effort in. If you raise the bar, he will be forced to step up to the plate.
Tell him you are looking for something serious. Then, keep seeing him. But, refuse to do ANYTHING sexual beyond kissing until he steps up his game. If is important that you do not cave or he will just end up using you.
Be hard to get and he will work to get you.
Trust moi. Moi has a charm that is lethal to men.
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Toodles,
Miss Piggy
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There is an old saying among men about buying the cow if they are getting the milk for free. You are being intimate with him which I assume means that sex is happening between you two. Why should he take things to the next level if he is getting the sex and he really didn't need to go to the first level to get it? In other words he got the milk without even having to go to the store. This is where you may have messed up with him.
You can: 1) Continue the relationship you have with him now and hope he changes how he feels and falls in love with you. 2) Change your relationship and not sleep with him until he is ready to make a commitment to the relationship.
When I say; "In other words he got the milk without even having to go to the store." I mean you two have not been on a real date. He comes over your place to see your roommate. You flirt with him and then you go to bed together. You really do not have the loving relationship with this man. What you have is more of a "Friends with Benefits" relationship if I have read you note correctly.
You have to get him to start at the beginning before you can ask him to take the next step you are looking for. You to need to go on some real dates and find out more about each other to see if there is a loving relationship there. He needs to commit to you before being allowed back in your bed. That commitment is to a long term relations ship that hopefully leads to where you’re looking for it to go.
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