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should i say yes to my ex
14/f
i used to go out with this guy who kept switching between me and my used to be best friend and i broke up with him about 5months ago (ex # 1)then he went out with my ex friend and they broke up i was in a relationship with my exs bff (ex # 2and we broke up now ex # 1 told 1 of my friends he wants to date me again but hes going to wait a while to make a move what should i do when he does make a move sorry if this sounds confusing
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You're just a kid. Focus on school... :/
xoxo,
dottie4
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See relationships are confusing, I had been in two when i was at the age of 17. The concept of love is fun and attractive but my personal opinion is that dont go back to him. Like you said its complicated and somethings arent things you can come back from.I know he is something that seems comfortable to you and it will be simpler. But if it could end once, it would more likely end again. Only go back to him or say yes if you really think he is worth it.
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Whether you say yes or no to him should depend not on the fact that he stopped dating you to date your friend a while but whether there are enough things you like about him and have in common. At this age, you are all just beginning the realm of relationships and dating and can't know everything ahead of time. You will learn simply from going through the situations. So don't get all caught up in the good feelings and forget to pay attention and learn things along the way. Here's my explanation on what dating is really about. Read it and then decide whether you want to date him again or not.
At your point in age, the object is not to practice longevity of relationship, sticking together long term even if its not a perfect dating relationship. The object is not to prove to yourself or others that you can stick with someone long term...that comes in later years after you have a clue what kind of person you want to end up life long with.
Dating is for determining if there is interest beyond basic attraction, discovering more about the other to determine if you like and can handle their personality traits, and whether there's enough in common, or evidence of destructive habits or tendencies in the other that would harm you emotionally and/or physically and kill the relationship. Depending on what you discover, you either continue dating the person and take it to the committed couple level or you break up.
Dating is more about learning what you do and don't like in a guys character and the same for him. Its a time of making comparisons. Seeing what is lacking in a current partner that you would like to have, or something that they do, or ways they treat you that are disrespectful or hurtful emotionally or physically as in being abusive or violent. When you come up against things like that, you need to decide if you will settle for less or move on to the next dating partner, hopefully always shooting for someone a step better in some area. Make a list of the qualities you like and remind yourself with another list of the qualities you don't like or must avoid because they are harmful to your well being. Review it and update it often through out the years.
If you break up, you look for the next dating partner, always trying to find someone a step better than the last partner, basing your choices for the new person on traits you discovered in the last person that you liked enough to look for in the next person, while at the same time avoiding the other things that you won't tolerate.
If all is going well and you develop some serious feelings for each other, you take the relationship from just dating to the committed couple level. At this level, depending on your age, you are dating each other exclusively or if adults, moving in together or getting married.
If you find you keep having the same issues, no matter which guy you date, either you never learned from the past relationship, or perhaps more of the issues are with you and you need to be honest with yourself as to what issues you need to work on within yourself before you can make a good dating partner. I can't begin to stress how helpful having a list of what I liked and wanted and needed in a guy was to me in finding my 2nd husband. It should work just as well at any age, including high school dating too.
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