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bridesmaid drama
I'm 23f,in a serious relationship. my boyfriend's cousin and I used to be great friends, until she had some psycho episodes. Before she and her fiance split up and got back together, she asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (to which I said of course). Now that she's back together with him (because she's 27 and wants to be married before me) I'm afraid she's going to ask me to be in her wedding party again (because she has no girlfriends..go figure). How do I respectfully decline? Is it okay to decline?
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There is really no reason why you have to accept an invitation to be a bridesmaid, especially if you two have grown apart as friends and you should not have to give your reasons as to why. What you should be thinking about before you make this decision is how will it affect your relationship now and in the future with this family.
You say that she wants to be married before you. Do I or should I take this to mean you and your boyfriend have intentions of someday getting married. If so how will turning down her invitation affect your relationship with this side of your potential new family? Of course if you accept the invitation will you be expected to have her in your bridal party?
If not being in her bridal party is going to cause a problem with your boyfriends side of the family now and in the future. As long as there is no financial reason to say no and as long as your boyfriend is one of the groomsmen. What is the hurt to being in her bridal party to keep peace in your future family. Included in the cost of financial reasons would not only include the cost of the dress and shoes but any travel cost you may have to incur for fittings and any other events your presents is required at prior to the wedding. This would include transportation costs (airfare, train fare,) lodging, meals so and so on.
Now just because she has asked you or you have been in her bridal party there is no reason to ask her to be in yours. I know from my sisters wedding the girls in her bridal party where all of her friends who had made wedding plans long before they met the future husbands many have been friends since high school and would talk about these things on sleepovers. My thinking is you do not have to reciprocate.
What I think is important is to look at what will have the worst impact on family relations now and in the future and act accordingly.
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