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Fallen out with flatmates
Recently, two girls who I live with at Uni have stopped talking to me. As in they never make the effort to say anything if I come into the kitchen.
If I do say Hi, they never bother to say hi back anymore.
This all started two weeks ago, and just yesterday we happened to be on the same bus as each other and completely ignored one another.
There are some guys and four girls in my house, one girl being myself.
The two 'ignoring' girls fell out with the other girl over two months ago. I always tried to keep close with both 'sides'.
But recently (no idea why) these two girls have started ignoring me completely as well.
I have stopped speaking to them because theres no point-if they don't even respond. They're both 21 and I'm 19. It seems they chose someone in the house to 'go against' and spend their time bitching about that person. It happened in our house when we all lived together last year too.
I have already said i'm moving out with the girl I actually like, but the whole ignoring situation is causing me to miss mealtimes because they're in the kitchen, and my anxiety has gone through the roof-as I suffer badly anyway.
I don't want to be friends with them-because they're too hard work! But how do I get on speaking terms again? I feel intimidated at the thought of talking to them atm because when my friend tried they made her cry.
What do I do?!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you havent straight out asked them why they are ignoring you, just wondering and hurt at being ignored, then at least make that step to ask if you have said or done anything to hurt one of their feelings? If they don't answer or come up with a bunch of BS, then you can rest easy knowing that they are simply two immature kids even at 21, no better than middle schoolers. They simply haven't grown up.
I understand you live in the same house, but is it actually crucial to talk, I mean are there things that need discussing and scheduling since you share space together? For example, if meals all are coordinated and all flatmates take turns cooking or planning the meals for the week, that would require speaking to each other.
People don't have to be friends to be sharing space but it would be nice to be civil and that would mean at least acknowledging the other flatmates presence with a look and a nod at the very least or a Hi or Good morning.
Since it isn't just you they've treated this way but the other girl too, my guess is that it isn't anything you or the first girl have said or done. Why ever would you want to strike up a friendship with them, or even a conversation? They aren't worth it.
Let me ask this. If one of them were to speak to you tomorrow, would you remain silent and ignore them? My guess is that you would begin answering and holding a conversation like normal people do. You make a choice to answer them. Are they able to force you to speak if you don't want to? No. Same in reverse. There is nothing you can do to get on speaking terms. If the communicating line is open at your end, they must also make the choice to begin speaking on their end. It is a choice that must come from inside them. If they refuse to talk and continue to ignore you and that is too uncomfortable for you, look for somewhere else to rent. Life is too short to be spent in the presense of immature, mean, spiteful, ignorant people.
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