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How can I stop being insecure ?
I think that I'm insecure , im a sophomore and I'm 14. I have a good amount of friends but I'm terribly shy and I only can be myself around my closest friends. I think when people try and talk to me or be friendly, I get an attitude and I push them away, idk why I do that . It's just a natural reaction . I want to make more friends with like the 11th graders , I want to be more friendly and just be able to just talk to people and be mire friendly. I'm scared to do something because I always think about what people would think of it in their eyes .
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Be who you are. The right people will be drawn to that. Stop worrying about what others think. In all likelihood they aren't thinking about you but rather themselves and their own insecurities.
If you want to become friends with someone just introduce yourself. I'm sure people would be open to getting to know you. I think it's in your best interest to join drama classes and student government as it will force you to learn to trust other people and them you.
I would also like you to get some counseling of some sort to work on why you push people away and what the root of your problem is and skills to overcome. Other than that you have to see yourself in the right light and go after what you want.
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I say try being nice to people until they are mean to you first. Theres no reason to expect that that you will be made fun of or make a fool of yourself. THATS how i made loads of friends and became popular in high school.
My secret was to expect everyone, and tell them that im not here to judge. More people felt comfortable around me and pretty soon it went both ways. ; )
good luck.
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First It is my opinion that how you feel at this time is fairly normal for a 14 year old; especially a 14 year old female. This is a time of transition for you. You have gone from the relative security of middle school to high school. Also you are going through puberty; your body is changing and boys are starting go from being icky to obnoxious and cute.
When I was your age I was shy and introverted. As an adult I have made my living in Sales. Now how does a shy introverted person make a success in Sales if he is scared to death to walk up to people and talk to them?
The answer is somewhat simple and complex. I found out that living inside all of us are both an introvert and extravert. Some of us allow the one or the other to come through more easily. For those that seem more extraverted they push aside the fear and introverted side of themselves to allow themselves the fun of the extraverted side to come through. I know there is a lot of psychology in what I have just written, though it is true.
What you have to do is force yourself to be more extraverted. There are a few ways to do this. You push people away because you don't know what to say to them. So start by just listening for a while. Walk up to a crowd where a friend or two might be and just listen, if you have something you can add to the conversation that you are comfortable wand knowledgeable in then do so.
Another way is to put together a list, actually write them down, of activities you like to do and are good at. Then number them from the one you like the most to the one you most like the least. Now look for clubs and activities for these things. Go to these clubs and or activities and see if you might want to join them. By having an interest and knowledge of the activity the scary feeling of meeting someone new is taken away as you are in a comfort zone so to speak. You can allow the extravert in you to come out. Once it is out it will be hard for the introverted you to come back out. It will but only when you need it for protection and then the extravert will reappear.
I know this looks like a lot of psychological mumbo jumbo but it works you will have to take my word for it. I have made a good living in sales and today I can walk up to total strangers and start a conversation by saying something as simple as, "wow I sure hope it doesn't snow." You would be surprise where something as simple as that can go if you want it too.
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