|
BISEXUAL- BICURIOUS PROBLEM?
I am 15 years old and I might be bi. I never had sexual intercourse with a girl so i cant label myself as 'bisexual' yet. I dont know if its a ''phase'' but i do know that I am equally attracted to guys and girls. So, i have gone out with boys in the past but i have never kissed a girl. I think about it sometimes, and i really wanna kiss one but i dont know how to find one. I have no experience in kissing girls, or finding a lesbian or a bisexual girl etc. Another problem is im not the kind of girl that will go to partiess every weekend. I love staying at home but i will go out if i feel like it..
How will i find a girl who likes girls? How will i know if she is actually bisexual or lesbian? What should i do??
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Good advice: Search out for a lesbian through some means, and give it a go. See if you feel the attraction when you're together, when you kiss, when you anything.
Better advice: Like who you like. Girl, boy, doesn't matter. You're 15, you have a lot of figuring out to do, and worrying about something like this isn't worth your time. You'll get it figured out one day, until then, be a 15 year old girl and have fun.
]
I believe I answered this question for you yesterday. The same answer still holds true. This is not a phase and at best I would say you may be bi-curious something that is completely normal for someone your age.
Yesterdays response to you
I do not believe you are Bi, if anything you MIGHT be bi-curious which is normal for people, both boys and girls, at your age. At your age with puberty in full swing this is the time for sexual experimentation. It is normal to want to know what it is like to be with someone of the same sex. Usually this happens with best friends. Usually the sexual experimentation takes the form of masturbation. Girls fingering each other and maybe oral sex. Guys giving each other HJ's and maybe oral sex.
One reason it is normal is it is available and parents do not question two people of the same sex in a room together with the door closed. Sleepovers are a time when this happen after the parents are also in bed.
Second: Label's; do not be so fast to stick a label on your self it will only get you hurt at this age. Your friends will not understand and you will be harassed for this type of labeling. As I did above you are not bi for the main reason that you have not experienced any type of sexual relation. Dating a boy and kissing him is far different than having sex. The same is true with kissing a girl; kissing is a prelude to sex. Being interested in or attracted to someone of the same sex does not make you bi not. until you actually experience sex with a same sex person should you even consider being bi or bi curious.
Now there is nothing wrong with being bi or bi-curious, gay or lesbian. The problem today is labeling and the harm it can do, your age and sexual inexperience. Sex is a wonderful thing no matter how your sexual orientation turns out. This is the time when you learn about who you are sexually. No it is not the time you have intercourse. There are other ways to enjoy a relationship with boys or girls without intercourse and explore your sexuality at the same time. This is what you should be doing not labeling yourself. Please don't do that. Just relax and give yourself time to learn and enjoy yourself.
]
Lack of having a partner, doesn't mean you no longer are a ......., (whatever sexual type you identify with. Even if you have never had the opportunity. Being that you are 15, I wouldn't focus too much right now on finding any females who might work out for you, wait until you turn 18 and are of the age of sexual consent and considered an adult. Then, one way to find one is going to social places set up where bi's and gays and find each other, usually the big cities have this in the form of bars, or maybe even a swing club...bi women are known to go to such places. Another way is using the web. Search for meet up sites strictly for bi or gay women. If you can't find any with gals in your area, broaden your search to using regular dating sites because you have the option in creating the site to list whether you are straight, gay, bi and only people looking for bi's will have access to your profile, not the males if you specify so. fOR now, try a search for online support groups for bi sexual teens. I know they have them for transgender and gay teens too so why not for you. You are more likely to get your questions answered there.
Be honest about this side of you with any guy who seems serious about you such as exclusively wanting to date you, let him know upfront. Young guys age 18 and through 20's maybe later, may not know how to react to this. Better knowing upfront than being surprised and dumping you later. In reality, most older mature men are very supportive of their bi-sexual wives. I've known quite a few bi sexual married women whose husbands had no issues with it, with them having female partners.
I would advise starting your search with bi females, not lesbians as the lesbians tend to be monogamous and may view you having a relationship with a boyfriend or husband in the future as being polyamorous or as cheating and that could create trouble. Just be upfront with people and if they can't handle it at first knowledge, give them a chance to get used to the idea, and if they can't handle it, move on. You will never be happy if you are bi and trying to please both a male and female who have opposing idea's of who they want you to be for them. Be yourself and keep looking until you find those who accept you just as you as and truly have no issues with it. Good luck!
]
More Questions: |