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Self Harming Friend
One of my friends self harms, I am the only one who knows about it. I too used to self harm so I know how hard it is. I want to be there for her but she annoys me so much. She is clingy and she always insults me. The worst thing is she guilt trips me into everything she wants me to do saying "do my homework or I will cut myself and it will be your fault" or "if you don't give me the money I will cut myself and we don't want that". I tried to stand up for myself but she just guilt tripped me in to shutting up. I know she is a toxic person but I feel guilty if I cut her out of my life, what shall I do? I am only 14 and I can't handle it, I just want to focus on getting my GCSES please help.
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You are only 14. The only person you are responsible is for yourself. It doesn't sound like your "friend" is really treating you like a friend if she is guilt-tripping you and threatening you. It's unfortunate that your friend is self-harming, but that is not your problem. You need to tell your parents or a teacher or a counsellor about your situation. I know it's hard and you feel like you're betraying her, but it will be better for your and her health in the long run.
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She is using this power against you because she knows it'll get you to do what she wants. She's using you. She's cutting herself for attention. There's a difference between someone who does it for attention and someone who hides it and wants NO BODY to see because there honestly ashamed. The person doing it for attention, you just need to tell them to grow up and do shit on there own. You tried to be a good friend and be there for her, and all she's doing is taken advantage of your kindness. It's okay to be kind and try to help people but if that person doesn't actually need help, they just need to grow up, that's when you should walk away. I have a friend exactly like that. Doesn't cut but she knows I'll do anything for anyone so she takes advantage of me. Don't let them. Walk away.
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You have to talk to your parents or a teacher or counselor at school.
Cutting is a serious problem. Any form of self harm is a serious problem. You can't just sit by and let her do this. Imagine if something went wrong and she cut in the wrong spot or cut herself too deep and ended up dying? You're the only person who knew and could have stopped it. So you need to talk to someone.
She might get mad or angry, but I think you'd rather have her mad or angry over dead.
If your parents don't talk to a teacher or her parents, then make sure you tell the school because they have to get help for her.
It's a serious problem so please help her.
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Hi I'm MadameFrappe and I'm going to help you best I can.
This sounds like a terrible problem, but I think I may be able to help you.
Tell your friend that what she's doing to you isn't right. I'm the same age as you and been here done this same thing.
What you need to do is tell your friend that your concerned that she's self harming but tell her its not fair she's using the fact that you care agaisnt you. If that makes sense.
*Basically just tell her her how you feel.
PLEASE: give, me feedback or email me and tell me how everything is going with you and your friend.
*My email address: madamefrappeadvice@Gmail.com*
HOPE THIS HELPS!!!
Love, MadameFrappe
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In a manner of speaking you are enabling her cutting by allowing her to use the threat of self harm to control you. This is not good for you or her. The only thing you can do is stop enabling her.
What you should do is tell your parents what is happening and let them go to her parents take care of her. What she needs is counseling. Both for the cutting and using it to control people. Should your parents tell you not to be her friend that they do not want to be involved. Then go to a trusted teacher or your school principal take care of this. Once informed of something like this by law they must act for the safety and welfare of the student.
By going to your parents or teacher you are not informing on her. You may be just saving her life. Cutting is dangerous. Cutting in the wrong place or too deep and a person can bleed out before help can arrive.
If she gets made at you for say anything just say to her; "I hope it is a long hatred for I rather you be mad at me then I attend your funeral." If she gets the proper help one day she will come to you and thank you.
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