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I'm so lazy and unfocused.
My entire life, I've been lazy. I'm not stupid, but unmotivated. There were times when I was focused and driven-- but, it was for a mere, temporary moment. I was never consistently passionate. EVER. I've done all activities when I was younger -- martial arts, ballet, and piano. Yet, I disliked them. I had played piano for nearly 8 years, but I wasn't good. Because I hated it. No one pushed me. Grade school to middle school, I've earned average grades-- with a couple C's there. High School, I took challenging courses freshman year, received 2 final average D's. Sophomore year, I took two honors and rest regulars -- hence, I received mostly A's. This year, I stacked up my schedule. Currently, I have 3 C's (the marking period didn't end yet). Honestly, when I attempt to focus, it just dies later on. I feel I could've achieved so much if i were not lazy. I attempted to change myself, but it did not work out. I want to become a marketing/advertising major, I'm creative, but I'm scared whether or not I have the capability to. I'm currently in marching band, but I force myself to do it. I despise it. What is wrong with me? If I were more driven, I could've been more successful than I am today. I'm so angry and bitter.
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Hi I'm MadameFrappe. Dude, you sound like me right now.
Okay, what i did was i just thought of something to motivate me like good grades, or getting accepted into a good school. Sometimes i try and make what i am doing fun. Try this and if you still need help with ANYTHING else email me: madamefrappeadvice@gmail.com
Hope dis helps you
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I can't say if you're lazy or just overwhelmed. You don't get A's in regular course's unless you apply some effort so to say you're lazy doesn't fit. When you are forced to do things you don't like it is hard to put in the effort to do it well such as piano.
This is a mistake we parents make be forcing our children to do things because we feel they need to be exposed to certain things. Even when they do not do well at them we may still force them hoping that they will do better over time. It is unfortunate for the child as we parents to different degrees all make this mistake.
Once a child becomes overwhelmed it becomes harder for them to focus and as you are seeing they find it hard to rise to certain challenges. They are then seen as lazy, which is not the case. What you have written about attempting new challenges only to have your efforts die out is a symptom of someone who has been overwhelmed with in the past and present.
Whose idea was it to take the advanced courses, yours or mom and dads? You say this year you have stacked your schedule. I'm not sure what that means. What I can be sure of is you may not be, especially at this time, is an honors student. Don't worry you can still get into a good college without honors courses.
It is probably too late to withdraw or drop a course that you may have selected as an honors course. What you might be able to do is move from that course to a regular course if your guidance counselor approves. I once had my entire schedule changed in mid semester, by the assistant principal so I could take advantage o a program he was running that he wanted me to be a part of. So it can be done if they want to do it for you.
Thinking as you are right know has also given you self-esteem problems. This is something you need to improve as improving your self-esteem will improve you overall. TO do so may require the help of a therapist. Someone you can talk to knowing that everything you say goes no further.
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We don't have to have it all figured out by time we graduate HS. I know, when I was in high school, all you heard about was what college everyone is going to and what they were going to major in and what their talents, strengths or passions are. It seemed like 99% of the teens had their life figured out. I've learned since by chatting with other adults that the greater majority of us had no clue yet when we graduated and that a good chunk of us who thought we did, ended up changing the degree they went after, or never found work in the field of their degree and found their niche accidently much later in life. I myself have only become a writer in the last two years seriously with a completed novel and ideas for 3 more. And I am in my 50's.
You are very intelligent and able to express yourself much better than many teens who write in for advice. I do not believe that you are lazy. Hey we all procrastinate at times and change is scary for all, but lazy, I don't think so. Just call it a sense I have.
Since you say you have trouble focusing, may I suggest it could possibly be attention deficit disorder or something that mimics at. I am not talking about the hyperactive disorder, just the trouble focusing part. You most likely would have been diagnosed long before now if it was truly that. So that leaves me with another thing for you to consider. My 2nd husband has a daughter who when young qualified to go to a Montessori school. What this school did is have parents sign a contract promising to not give their kids in sugar in their diet. Really! Not kidding you. They said since outlawing sugar, two things happened, the youngest of children were well behaved, not acting up and they were also well focused, able to concentrate and thus did well in school. A teacher could tell the next day which child might have had something with sugar the night before, the change was instant. The reason I mention this is that people today are totally unaware of the effects of what they ingest. Popular among young folk today is the energy drinks like Red Bull, stuff with extreme amounts of caffeine and sugar. You might challenge yourself to cut out sugar for a month and see what happens. Probably can't avoid it totally. There's the obvious stuff where grams of sugar are listed but other food items that have no sugar listed also turn to sugar while in your stomach like bread, pastas and rice. So at least, try to cut down. No soda's or energy drinks, candy or baked items. Maybe more fresh veggies and meat. Having some kind of source of protein, if not meat, eggs, peanut butter, fish will provide you with energy. Meats expensive but you don't need much just get it regularly.
If you don't notice a change, check with a doctor to make sure you don't have the ADD that needs medication. If you don't have it, you've ruled out a possibility. Just have patience with yourself and don't worry. I had an A or B but mostly all C's in senior yr H.S. I have no college degree and yet my husband says I am one of the most intelligent people he has ever met. I haven't had a job gotten with degree's where I earned big bucks but success in life isn't measured by money. They want you to believe that but it isn't. I juggled raising children, a job outside the home and pretty much anything to do with running the house and did good at all of that. When the husband started a self proprietor business, I became his part time secretary, office worker as well. He didn't even do a quarter of what I did. I find that to be successful. I discovered over time what my strengths are, that which I am empassioned about. Anything creative, and nurturing. Nurturing covered gardening and child raising and helping out neighbor kids as well as giveing advice. the creative comes out in many ways. Now late in life I know I will become a published author. Some of those famous people who won nobel prizes and did fantastic things for humanity didn't accomplish that until mid life or later in life and many didn't have full college education or much education at all. Chin up, and blessings to you.
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