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Cheating Spouses
The fact that you consider marital love all-inclusive while 'lust' isn't part of that equation, you are raising another question: Can marriages really be loving without sex? For some people, it's not. I'd like to amend my earlier statement in that case. I think that there comes a point when a person (or two people who are unfaithful to their spouses) must realize that they have fallen out of love and that the sex that is missing demonstrates it. Having said that, I don't think that extramarital affairs indicate sexual desire only. I believe that one must come to terms with the fact that monogamy is not for everyone, and it is possible to love two people. Why must one 'lose' and the other 'win'? The guilt that comes from affairs is self-imposed, and it's based on the illusion that we are evil for fulfilling our deepest desires at the so-called expense of another. I think that people should be honest about their love for one another, and if that means that a spouse retaliates by filing for divorce, then so be it.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think you are trying to justify something to yourself in which case you are just deluding yourself. For you fail to take into consideration other factors of a marriage when sex is not possible.
What about a couple where one spouse is injured in an accident and unable say due to partial paralysis. What about a partner that is fighting an illness say breast cancer, should she be expected to do her wifely duties as it was once called? Do these type of things give the other partner license to have an affair?
In a loving marriage there is more to marriage than sex. In my advice to young couples I advise that before they start keeping house together they make sure they have more in common then a good sex life for one day they will wake up and need to communicate with each other.
If you wish to justify having an affair to yourself go right ahead but please do not ask us to approve of your justification for there are few among us who would. If your spouse is refusing to have sex with you there is a reason for it. Maybe your spouse has fallen out of love with you or in the case of a spouse being women she has entered menopause. If so sex may be painful for her or the estrogen she needs for a sex drive is low. If she has fallen out of love with you then you need to ask yourself why. If it is the other than you need to talk to her as doctors can help with both problems.
One thing is for sure when your spouses finds out and they will, you and your cheating partner will be headed for divorce. Not as retaliation but this is how people rectify the hurt done to them by cheating spouses.
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Filing for divorce is not necessarily a retaliation, and it says a lot about your personal state of mind that you seem to believe that a person should be honest about thier desire and love for someone outside of thier marriage (and thier choice to act on that feelings) but you fail to recognize that divorce is also a honest choice and statement about what a person wants and feels is correct for them.
Stop being an armchair philosopher. All marriages are unique. There is no one acceptable way to express love, or to experience love. You think are being progressive and pushing boundaries, but all you are doing is putting up a different kind of wall when you sit back and try to determine who loves who on the basis of sex, and what sort of marriages will make people happy. You are not an expert on other people's live. Focus your attention on putting your own life in order, and respecting the choices made by others without looking down on them.
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