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When he asks "did you miss me"
So this guy I knew for almost 2 months through camp contacted me daily and we talk for an hour or 2 up till this week we only talked twice. Due to examinations. He did tell me after a few days of camp that he liked me and asked for me to be his girlfriend. I said "to take it slow" and he did but recently he told me he as stopped liking me and sees me as something more than a friend but nothing more.so he called today and the first thing he asked was "did you miss me?", he was bent on getting the answer and I just laughed as I did miss him and in the end I just said a bit.
I think he was a bit upset at that response.
My question would be:
1) Does he see me as a friend only?
2) What does it mean when a guy asks if you missed him.
Thank you for taking the time to read this! :)
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The part that I'm a bit confused about is the "he told me he has stopped liking me and sees me as something more than a friend, but nothing more". It sounds like he is playing a game. I would even say he's trying to get you to chase him, not him chase you.
I think you're a really smart gal. I would stick with what you told him from the beginning to take it slow.
He likes you, but he's pushing you to do more than you want too, which is a red flag to me.
If a guy likes you and respects you, he will listen to your request. When I first met my current boyfriend, I had gone through 2 really bad relationships, so I wanted to take it slow. He respected that. He still chatted with me and we became good friends. I felt really comfortable with him. Not once did he pressure me.
If a guy suddenly doesn't like you, that means he didn't get what he wanted, he found someone else that will do what he wants, or he lost interest (which goes back to, he didn't get what he wanted).
I would just keep doing what you're doing and see what happens.
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If a guy is attracted to a girl and keeping in contact pretty much daily even though no one is forcing him to, that is a sign he is very interested, the kind of interest where he wants to get to know you better than he already does.
To learn more about each other, two people need to spend time together...what you call that time together depends on how each of you interprets that process. Some believe as I do that you first hang out together as friends, even though there is the romantic attraction there and get to know each other first much better before commiting to be boyfriend/girlfriend.
Other's don't believe there is an in between stage like that between initial attraction and dating. If there's interest, you date to find out if you really like each other. The problem with that is if dating, there is an implied promise to the other to never want to break up with them, that the commitment is for life. At least thats how many people treat it and why they freak out if their partner ends up discovering they aren't as interested as they thought in the beginning and want out.
So I suppose the best thing is for you to ask him what asking you to be a girlfriend means to him. How does that differ from just knowing each other as friends.
I'll bet your asking to 'take it slow' was not understood by him the way you meant him to understand it. He may have believed you were rejecting him totally.
I find it interesting that immediately after saying what you did, he came back with 'he stopped liking you'. It sounds like a childish response, like a subtle tantrum for not getting what he wanted. He can't possibly get over you if that's what he's implying, that quickly.
So either he's still crazy about you and feeling hurt because of misunderstanding in communicating or he never ever had any feelings of interest in you in particular and was more interested in just in being able to say he had a girlfriend, just for the experience of what it felt like and any girl who said yes would do. That would mean he was not interested in you to begin with.
So when he asked if you missed him, it could be just something he would say to anyone he hasn't had contact with in a while. Or it could mean he is hoping to hear a certain phrase or words from you, something that to him would show you were interested enough in him to have missed contact with him. Laughing and saying maybe a little bit is acting coy. It is basically a move where things are kept somewhat hidden, maybe because a person thinks they are being too forward to answer truthfully, or will sound too desperate if they answer in truth, or that it is too early in a friendship/relationship to speak the truth.
And that is a lot of bull in my books. One can never err with using truthful communication. If the truth is not in his favor and you really can't stand him, then use tact and don't say that but do share that you don't feel any chemistry with him. Make sure you spell it out, I don't feel romantic chemistry with you, I do feel comfortable with you as a friend.
THis is my best guess as to what is going on with him. You'll find out better by asking him yourself. with anything he says, any phrase he uses, don't assume it means what you think it means, ask for clarification. Cus when two people are not sure of anothers feelings for them and dont want to end up embarassed for professing feelings when the other has none, they will resort to all sorts of silly games, and misleading phrases that end up confusing things more.
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