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What do I do?
Me and my boyfriend been together for about 3 years now. In the beginning of our relationship, it was so romantic. He would buy me gifts, compliment me, & talk about his future being with me. We have been through our ups & downs! We started dating our sophomore in high school until now, we just graduated. Now we are heading to college. Through high school we have gotten into so many fights about him & females. He wasn't cheating but he would be too friendly. Its not so much of me being insecure I'm just afraid anyone will take away what's mines, him. He has even deleted his Instagram because I found out about him liking other females pictures & commenting on other females pictures. Before, it was never this way because it was me who he would do it to. But now, its not the same! I have had all of his passwords & when a female inbox him or comments on something his excuse would be "she commented on my stuff, she inboxed me, that's not my problem". He vary talks about the future & tells me he can't see it anymore because its me. I dont feel like I trust him anymore because I feel that he's always lying about something. I have proof but not enough. He even told me he doesn't know his facebook password anymore because he's changed it so many times because of me. We both have done things in the past but not for any of us to change our minds on being with each other in the future. Since we're both going to college soon, we are "deciding" to still be with each other but the bad apart about that is he's going to Memphis, Tennessee to stay! Long distance relationship? We are already going through enough. So how am I supposed to carry our relationship through all of this? Should I call it quits? I don't want to be with ANYONE if their intentions aren't thinking about the future. We've been together for 3 years & this is the longest ive been with anyone & for him. He tells me its me always thinking about other females but when I find out the littlest things it is. He's not the same person I fell in love with. He calls me crazy & everything! BUT THE SAME WAY I AM NOW HE USE TO BE THE SAME WAY!!!!!! I dont know what to do about the long distance or us period.... It's stressful. In the beginning, we always took pictures. We were the couple everyone loved.... CHRIS BROWN & RIHANNA! But now, he complains about him not like taking pictures. He doesn't like putting his face on social networks. So I asked like not with me right? So he's like no, I just don't like taking pictures anymore. Now all of a sudden. Since him not having a phone its hard for him to get in touch with me all the time but most of the time he does & when he does he'll tell me he's going to call me back & never do. I address it over & over but he calls me when he wants to then make up a excuse to why he didn't call back. Then I'll ask him where he at & he'll think I'll be accusing him, but that's not that case in most cases. What am I supposed to do when he leaves? This is really hurting me. I just dont know what to do because we've been through so much. I know he loves me but not like he use to. I need some advice!
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First off, if you have had all his passwords, that shows that you do not trust him. And trust is key in a relationship at all times. And no it's not his fault a person of the opposite sex messages him.
You say he is not the same person you first fell in love with, people do change. But i do personally know what distance does to people. All to well. And it is definitely normal to want to salvage a 3 yr relationship. But sometimes it's better to let go and start fresh.
If he doesn't want to take pictures with you, it sounds like he's ashamed or doesn't want to be seen with you.
I would definitely take a break from him and look at the big picture, you are still young and have your whole life ahead of you, so why waste it on someone who won't call or makes excuses.
He should be so in love and looking for the future and be excited to call you just to hear your voice!
All the best<3
*Jasmine
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First off, if he wont even take simple pictures with you anymore it sounds like hes already sort of emotionally pulling himself away from you because he knows that with you two going to different colleges that its most likely NOT gonna work out. Alot of times long distance ones dont, thats no surprise there because theres just too much temptation around you both and your miles and miles away from each other to meet each others needs (emotionally and sexually).
Also ive learned through my years of experience that usually even when a guy likes or loves you alot and already know in their head that its going to be over soon, they will sometimes nit pick at the simplest things and pick fights with you because their just begging for a reason to break things off with you and justify having the frustrated feelings they have right now, not because of you but because of the outside forces (like college) that will pull the two of you apart soon. Sometimes with guys dont know how to deal with those frustrated feelings they end up taking it out on the last person they should be doing that with instead of crying and showing it in other ways like girls do. its just his way of coping. It sounds like hes really internalizing it and IS stressing and just doesnt know what to do with those feelings so hes angry over it.
Im going to just be honest with you here. Hes ALREADY pulling away if hes looking at other girls and acting different. He knows you two will get pulled apart soon and hes looking at them to get his mind off you. dont take that personally take it as a compliment that he just cant take the separation so badly that hes trying to distract himself. theres nothing either of you can do to fix this other then one of you NOT going to college to stay together but thats a huge risk and one that im not sure you should take at this point.
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