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Underage Drinking
I'm a 13 year old girl and my friend (also 13) drinks. Let's call my friend Donna. So Donna was never a good girl. Constantly saving her phone taken away for texting threats. She said she was abused as a child and if that's true, that could be part if the problem, but she's also a notorious liar.... I've gotten in trouble for a few of her schemes before so I'll probably be breaking off the friendship soon but aside from all of that.... Here's my real problem: Donna and I were texting yesterday and she sends me a picture of this drink with the caption "Delicious!!!!". It did look pretty good so I said "What's in it?" And she gives me a list of ingredients but one really catches my eye: alcohol. I'm not sure what kind if alchohal it is but by the color I assume that it's vodka. The rest of our conversation goes like this:
Me: Alchohal?????
Donna: Yes, but shhhhh....
Me: I'm not gonna tell anyone, but aren't you a little too young to be ruining you're liver?
Donna: Yeah, but it's only like a quarter of an ounce. Besides, my parents use to give me alchohal when I was little so I would learn to hate the taste.
Me: Still Donna, it's not good.
She stopped replying after that..... Should I tell my mom, her mom, the school counseler? I don't know who I should tell honestly. If that's the only time she's ever drank and she doesn't do it again then can I let it go? And she'sthe kinda person who will tell the whole school that I'm a snitch....
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There are reasons why young people shouldn't drink alcohol and why it is illegal to do so. One of the biggest reasons is what it can do to a person's long term health for abuse of alcohol. You spoke of only one problem, there are many more.
As her friend you see the need to help her by saying something to your mother and letting your mother decide if she should say something to Donna's mother. This is the correct approach it allows your mom to make the decision and who to approach.
One thing you need to make sure to tell your mother is that Donna is known to be a liar. You cannot be sure that what is in the glass is Vodka but that knowing Donna you believe it is.
As to being a snitch? There is a right time and a wrong time to being a snitch. Lets say Donna tells you she is going to cut out of school after 3rd period. Let her, this would be the wrong time to snitch.
Doing something that has the potential to ruin her health long term such as drinking or doing drugs is the right time. An example of this would be this event we are discussing or say if you knew she had alcohol in a thermos she brought to school. Doing so is a signal of a drinking problem one that could be come a long term or life time problem. Saying something to mom, a teacher or the school principal is the right thing to do as it will save her from a life of pain. Yes she will get in trouble at school but she will also get help.
It would even be correct in the example above or this event to call the police. Under age drinking is unlawful. She won't be arrested, her parents will be informed and social services will be informed and monitor her. You said that she told you she was abused as a child. Make sure to tell mom this as well as it may be better that mom inform child protective service, rather than her mom.
Snitching as you put it is the correct thing to do in this instance as you will be saving your friend from a lifetime of pain. Possibly even saving her life. Saving someone's life outweighs any pain you may have at school for what the other kids may feel is snitching.
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You are an awesome friend that you care so much!!
Im sorry this has affected you!! Its so hard!
I believe,that it would be wise to tell your mom.You are concerned and you aren't doing it to hurt Donna's feelings. It sounds like she does have emotionial problems,and she is acting because of her life.
Yes,please tell your mom,and maybe she can call Donna's mom
Im sorry sweetheart.
Be blessed and remember,that tattling doesnt always mean a tattletale!
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