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What do I do now?
Hello,its Love Choice girl again
Im writing because I wonder if I ever made the right choice.
You see,I chose to let my sweetheart go
My mom,really hating him,is still upset,even though I made the choice for her sake and benifit
He really loved me.He wanted to marry me.He tried his best
And I dont know wheteher I made the right decision.
My mom's doapproval would haunt me forever
And lets not forget that I will got to hell forever if I did stay with him
Its unethical,Im having a hard believing this
I miss my love alot.And pushing him out,was an easy way out and a cop out
I love God (YAH) and I dont read anywhere inthe bible where it says I will go tell for this.
I guess what Im asking,how do I get over this??
He was so good to me,and the most awesome awesome friend too
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What do you do now? Wow, that a big open ended question.
What do you do about what, is the question I ask.
What exactly are you getting at?
All I can say is that you are an adult, as an adult you made a choice. Now you have to live with it and the consequences of it.
Sometimes as adults, we make what we believe to be the best choice that we know of, only to find out later that we were wrong, or that we have regrets.
Well, hon...welcome to the world...that is real life for real adults. We have to deal with that all the time through out life.
But there is a trick here! The trick is to learn something from a certain choice or path we took that ended up not being right for us at all and learning from it and not repeating that choice.k for to repeat it would be a mistake and shows only that you never learned from it.
When we do not as an adult learn from any such choices in life to do better and find some personal growth out of the situation, then we are going to have to repeat that lesson in life in some way or form similar to or exactly the same as the last. And this will keep repeating until you make the right choice.
Think of the mouse in a maze trying to get to the cheese. When he reaches a dead-end, does he keep retrying the same path that ended in a dead-end? Nope. He tries another path, another way.
If you believe you took the wrong choice/path, then next time, take a different one.
Heres another thing for you to think about. Parents raise their children teaching them their ideals or beliefs because they belive it the right way or best way in life. Many children will follow the faith their parents raised them on, only because they are operating at a level of blindly following, never having given any real personal thought to whether they really believe what they've been taught to believe.
I mention this because from what you've written several times already, you seem to end up again at a dead end...not 100% sure in your heart of what you believe regarding what happens after death, hell/heaven or what.
May I suggest that the reason you are not 100% sure of what you believe, where all your confusion and anguish is coming from and why you can't just live with your decision, is because you have been riding the coat tails of someone elses beliefs until now. The time has come for you to either find the proof to verify that there isn't any false concepts in your Christian belief, to test yourself, as to what parts you do believe and don't believe 100%.
Belief can not be taught to a person. They can only decide to go with what they have been told and so they faith if any will be a mediocre one.
Belief only comes from experience. What one has experienced in real life spiritually between you and God and that is where my belief comes from. Holy spirit tested me so often putting me in situations where I could either obey something I was told or choose not to for fear of being wrong when told to give someone a scripture verse or pray for their head pain before I even knew they had a headache. I always chose to follow through what my gut was telling me, all those times I felt unease was because I was at a crucial learning point. I remember God telling me on my response of "I cant' say that, she'll think I am crazy." "You did ask me if I have anyone for you to share a word from spirit with. I do. I told you. It is up to you to decide to obey and do it or wimp out due to fear. But remember, you have a choice, I am not forcing you to do this nor will I be upset if you choose not to."
Every time I followed through on what Spirit told me I built one successful experience upon another until I had 100% trust in the Spirit due to experience. I can tell you, if I had balked at walking out on a limb and taking the chance cus maybe I heard wrong in my head from Holy Spirit, then I would never have learned to believe what I did thru experience.
I have since come to learn that just about every religion has a piece or two of the truth and a good majority of misinterpretations or total lies and falsehoods. It takes a very dedicated follower of their Creator, having a real relationship with their mother-father God, (I say mother to represent the Holy spirit who has so many of the female attributes, the nurturing and gentle guidance like a mom) before you will come to know for sure what you believe to be true and be willing to follow that path: even if it is different from what mom believes, even if it is different from what the majority of people believe, even if there is no written example or proof of ANY OTHER PERSON having heard God tell them to do the same. I had no desire to study other belief systems, but under the Spirits guidance I began to do some reading, only to find that there was a reason why the churches told Christians never to read about other religions doctrines or pagan beliefs for example, because anyone with half a sane brain who is able to think for themselves is going to find in their research that Christianity as a religion isn't all that they've been taught to believe. There are alot of holes in it...Actually stories from history with facts that cover how the Christianity of today that we believe is 100% pure and true and accurate has been sorely messed with and tampered with by man.
There are actually so many holes in the Christian belief that it truly does take a stronger dedication and belief to blindly accept doctrine so full of holes than one that is solid and can be proven.
Am I back slidden, a heretic, etc...? You may think so but you are the one suffering with issues of not being able to be at peace with your decision. And there is a reason for it. When your conscious mind has not yet learned to have a one on one ability to converse telepathically with God, able to speak and ask, and hear immediate answers back, then when you are at a critical decision point or learning point in life and unable to hear with your conscious mind from God, there is another backup plan. OUr subconscious mind is able to pick up signals from God. It won't know exactly the words or what to do, but since the subconscious is where all our feelings and emotions live and come from, the subconscious only has the signal of emotions to tell you that you are about to go the wrong way, this is called your gut 'feeling', or you end up feeling scared, anxious, sad, just totally at unrest, unease. It is good to listen to these warnings if you are yet unable or perhaps unwilling to take the time to exercise your spirit muscles until you can hear. Its a process, not instant ability to hear, just like newborn can't instantly walk but must go through a long process of stages where those legs get various types of exercise in babys movement until strong enough to stand and then walk.
My guess is that its very possible your subconscious was doing everything it could to pass on a message to make a different decision than you ended up making. And that is why you can't let this rest, why you don't feel peace.
But Hon, dont take my word for it...FOR all you know, I could be off my rocker, crazy and all that. You need to decide for yourself what you believe and believe it so strongly that even a threat of being killed would not cause you to sway on your belief because your beliefs are not merely beliefs any longer...they are an experience. And real experiences can not be denied or explained away as false or not real because all your senses and your mind and heart and soul are telling you otherwise. You are young and just don't know your own path yet. But now is the time to find it. It must happen with every person once they reach the age of adulthood, 18. It doesnt mean they know how to be an adult yet. Some are too afraid of no longer having a parent to make decisions for them and too fearful to make decisions of their own and stick with them. So what those young people do is either give up all personal control of their own life back to mom or to a controlling boyfriend or husband....thus finding a way to remain for all rules and purposes, a child for life, always doing what someone else decides for you.
In my opinion and I have read this also before, that taking such a path as giving up control of your life to another is actually a cop out on life. A person is not willing to be an adult cus its' scary (yeah, your'e dang right its scary at times, I rarely like having to be the adult and do the adult thing but I have been doing it since I turned 18. And did I make some bad choices....heck yeah....some royal ones that cost me lots of anguish,heart ache and even affected my total over all physical health at times. But I eventually learned from my poorer choices and learned to make better ones and I am a stronger person for it. Adulthood is not for the squeemish and fainthearted. Many choose to remain blissfully unaware of what opportunities they may be missing but blindly following someone else's lead the rest of their lives without really questioning it and giving it some logical rational thought and doing the footwork of research and watching the lives of others. A younger sibling tends to learn what not to do to stay out of trouble by watching its siblings. You can listen to us, or watch what we would do forever and never get anywhere unless you finally decide to make a stand, make your decision and stick with it. Action is required by you. You could say you made the choice to give up the boyfriend. Did you really? Or did you give that choosing ability away to your mom? I know i may sound cruel here, I dont mean to be. I dont know why you really did or for what reasons....but YOU need to know what you did and why.
Perhaps you gave your decision control over to a religion or belief system that you are not even totally sure about...a religion that is not pure and wholly true anymore. The only one you can trust for your important decisions is your creator. Get your answers and direction straight from Him and know that it will not be polluted by man's interpretations or false hoods.
Learn to listen to what he says cus he will always steer you towards a situation in life where you will have the best opportunity in life to learn that which is most important for your soul to learn, which may not be the same experience or lesson the next person has to learn and therefore, realize that your path will not resemble someone elses ...there's no one cookie cutter way that works best for all, no one size fits all life path.
You are at a crucial turning point in life, whether you make this turn is up to you. So if your still are unclear on some things or have other things to tell me, please write straight to me. I will take the time as I did here...as long as it takes to help my sister. We are all brothers and sisters and i really care.
If you choose to write to me, first analyse yourself. Whats really going on in your mind your heart your soul. Any feelings you may have had but dared not mention to mom cus they are contrary to her beliefs and wants. Be honest with yourself. You can lie to me all you like if you really wished to but it only would mean you are not yet ready to take control of your own life and your own beliefs and decisions. Its not just about what you believe religion wise but many other areas of life. I will not judge you for where you are at. There is no rush to learn a particular thing in your lifetime. GOd doesnt have a time table for you. I can only help you more clearly see where you are at currently in your life and its up to you if you want to stay there a while, forever or move on with life. If you can honestly say you're ready to move on, I can encourage you through the process and give you some things to look for as you navigate life
Blessings to you dear.
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