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Is my friend bad for me?
So about two days ago my friend Olivia asked me to prank text her friend Brandon. She sent me the prank message and I sent it to him. I got in trouble, she got in trouble, we apologized to Brandon. It was stupid on my end and I shouldn't have done it and I feel bad. Olivia got her phone taken away because of it but before her mom took her phone she posted a screenshot of the message on Instagram with this caption: getting my phone taken away for six weeks because me and Laura (I'm Laura by the way) decided to prank a guy who scares too easily... Idiot...." Why would she post that?! I'm so mad because now the entire school knows what we did. I feel so sad and embarrassed about it too because we really scared the boy we texted. She doesn't care though because according to her mother this isn't the first time she's persuaded a friend to do something like this. I can't text/call her about it because she doesn't have her phone. Can't go to her house either, I don't know where she lives. How do I get her to take the post down???? I'm a good girl, I usually don't do things like this and I've only gone to this school for about a months I this is sort of people's first impression of me so now anyone who saw the post will think I'm an asshole! What do I do? And after this is all over should I sot talking to Olivia???
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Since you don't have any contact with Olivia and this is an urgent matter, explain the situation to Olivia's mother. This is the best way to get the post taken down. I'd wager that if her mom knew what she had posted and how it made you feel, she'd make her delete it. As to whether or not you should stop talking to Olivia, I would say that it depends on what she says when you do get a chance to talk to her. If she seems remorseful like you, then she may be a friend worth keeping. You should be able to decide for yourself based upon how she is acting afterward. I agree that it might help if you were post something of your own on Instagram apologizing for the part you played in the situation. Take full responsibility for your actions and make sure not to purposefully or unintentionally make Olivia look bad. She's done that well enough on her own and doing so would only hurt your reputation further. All you can do is be nice and apologetic and hope that people can figure out the truth on their own. Try doing something nice for Brandon that isn't intrusive and doesn't draw any attention to him. Like make him something. If you are truly sorry and he knows it, he could be a good advocate for you. It sucks that this has happened to you, but next time you'll have a better idea of what to do. Give Olivia a chance, but not much of one. Good luck!
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Your 1st question is the title, Is she bad for you?
Maybe. Teens don't always make the best choices and hardly ever think of the consequences of any decision or action they take. Lots of that is due to the fact that the pre frontal cortex of the brain doesn't complete growing until people hit age 25 or so. So we all do things we later regret. In most case this just 'comes with the territory' so to speak of being a teen. However you did say that her mom says she has done this sort of thing before. So perhaps, its not dumb choices, but willful disobediance since mom knows and most likely has told her not to and taken the phone away as punishment...the consequences to her actions.
Your next question...why would she post that. If she were embarassed or felt bad about her actions and had a conscience, she most likely wouldn't post for all to see. My guess is she doesn't care who see's or knows or what they think, perhaps she see's life as just a game to play, or perhaps she is showing off, bragging for all to know she did something bad enough to get her phone taken away. Any of those possibilities spell out the fact that she would not be the best option for a friend.
How do you get her to take the post down? You can't. You spelled out all the reasons why you're unable to contact her and the fact that she doesnt have her phone means she doesnt have a way to take the post down.
Apparently, the consequence for you of participating in the prank is total humiliation and embarassment.
The fact that you have written us and told of what you did and feel bad for it, tells me you'll think twice before doing something even remotely similar, that you have a conscience, you truly do care, you're sorry for your actions, that you learned from it, and like you said, that you are a good girl.
I can understand the worry of what impression you are making on the students especially since you are new there, thinking the worst, that they'll think you're an asshole and not want to associate with you. I can't say how all the kids will think.
But the best way I know to diffuse embarassment, is to be honest to the event, own up to it...and assure others you wont do that again.
You could post a message of your own on Instagram.
Something like: Hey everyone, it's me the new girl. I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me so I want to say something to make things clear. The post from "your friends name here" that says she and I did that prank...well it's true and I so wish I could go back in time cus this time I would not do it. I just want badly to make new friends and didn't really think it through so I just did what she asked and now feel badly about it. So I want to publicly apologize to 'the boys name' and assure you that if you decide to give me a chance as a friend, that I will not ever treat you like that cus I learned my lesson."
Of course it can be way shorter, and should be in your own words but admitting what you did and that usually you're a great person and this is your only big offense toward another student should help.
One thing that can happen is the other kids will think you're pretty brave to fess up. Denying it or trying to cover up by having the post removed won't help you look any better to others.
It'll soon blow over and everyone will forget the event and life will go on.
Good luck dear.
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