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should i talk to him
I asked a question about a guy who works in d same company as I do and who has a girlfriend and treated me badly after the 2nd date..... well since we got to work after the incident we haven't talked. we said hello the first day to act like nothing happened so that people don't know, but the following days we haven't said hi we dont greet each other but we don't say a word.my heart beats every time I bump into him, I don't want to keep malice with him bcos its not good but at the same time I don't want to talk to him so that he doesn't feel like I wanted to all this while . I am the front desk officer in my company and I always greet everyone when they come in, but since the incident I haven't had the courage to do that to him.. Is this being childish because he also hasn't made any efforts to talk to me or apologise over wat he did....what should I do
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You said you always greet everyone when they come in. I understand that being important if it's non employees/visitors arriving at the front desk. But in your job description, were you told you were required to acknowledge in some way the appearance or passing by the front desk of every single employee. I worked in a large company and our front desk person was not required to greet each one of us as we left for lunch or came back, he was sometimes on the phone or chatting with one of the employees who stopped to visit, and sometimes he might nod, glance or smile whether busy or not.
If you are not told you have to greet everyone, then if it makes you uncomfortable to acknowledge him at all, then don't do so. In my mind, he doesn't deserve such common courtesy from you, when he is the @-hole that he is, he certainly hasn't earned it. He won't make efforts to talk or apologize...I've known people like that. So likely you don;t need to smile nod or say hi even.
I figure that likely just the glimpse of him is enough to bring back bad memories and your experience is still fresh in the memory.
Any uncomfortable feelings you have are likely a gut reaction coming from your subconscious mind, where all our feelings and emotions are. Your subconscious mind also runs body functions while you sleep, does stuff for you that you don't have to think about like taking your next breath or where you place your next step. It also has great concern for your welfare and remembers any bad past experience and will react with feelings in a self defense mode. What you might try is talking to yourself (if you aren't already in that habit) and reassure your sub mind which I feel is also much like our inner child, that you will never get back together with that guy, and you will not ever knowingly put yourself in such a situation again. Tell yourself that the moment you recognize someone that have those same traits, you will protect yourself by not approaching them to begin with, or if with them, leaving at once. You will have to reassure your inner self several times. Speak this out loud to yourself before you arrive at work and under your breath as you catch a glimpse of his approach past the desk. Eventually you should find your inner self calming and trusting you. And the rapid heart beat from adrenaline (the fight or flight --self preservation instinct) should also go away.
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