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How to balance my Fiance with a Sugar Daddy?
So long story short, right now I'm engaged to somebody and though we love each other very much things have been rough lately. We live together in our own place and balance all of our own bills, ect. We both work full time and he works longer and more hours than I do.
This often leaves me with a lot of alone time and every Saturday to myself which makes me very lonely. We often disagree over little things and a lot of the time I feel like even though we're best friends that he's not mature enough for me to want to marry and spend the rest of my life with. He still does so many childish things like playing hours of video games, not wanting to shower every night, leaving his clothes all over the place, dishes left out, ect. We make okay money but most of the time we end up with just enough to cover the bills and maybe a little bit on the side. I'm sick of always freaking out over bills though and being scared of every little thing I buy extra. I've always wanted to try my hand at a more luxurious life with an older man and I figured having a Sugar Daddy is a good option.
I've been talking to my fiance about having a Sugar Daddy on the side and after a few days consideration he told me if I can keep the two separate and promise not to cheat on him that he's okay with it.
Not really knowing what to expect I signed up for a site and paid a month's subscription. I poured my heart out in the bio and put up a few photos. I got lots of responses as I'm a fairly attractive and intelligent woman. After filtering out all of the men that were obviously just looking for an escort or somebody to have sex with I settled on speaking to three men, but I'm only seriously considering one of them. Annually he makes 250,000-500,000 a year which seems absolutely amazing and he comes off like a really sweet genuine guy. We also seem to have a lot in common and he's coming up for our first "date" on Saturday. We're going out for dinner at a little posh place that I've always wanted to go to but never had the money for (and none of my family could ever afford even for a birthday gift). Afterwards I figure we'll walk around the square and talk.
The thing is with this guy is it seems like he might want a real relationship not something that is strictly SD/SB.
I mean I'm okay with that right now because I'm definitely not going to have sex with him anytime soon and who knows maybe we'll get along really well and things will blossom?
How can I balance the two though if I start having feelings for my SD and wanting a life with him instead of with my current fiance? I love my fiance so very much but sometimes it's really hard to see things working out. We're very close but like I said before I almost see us more as best friends than a potential husband and wife...
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I feel like you can't balance them both and keep them separate. I'm pretty sure that a SD is someone you do things with like have sex with... and go on dates with. possibly you're looking for someone else to take care of you rather you take care of someone.also you said not have sex with at this moment? you said you wouldn't cheat, but i think you might. not to say you will or you have to just saying to me reading this sounds as if you don't want your current boyfriend and would want something else and i think that might be the best idea. if you truly loved him you wouldn't want another guy on the side.
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The thing that is shouting out to me from this post is not so much a desire to sample some high-life with a financially sorted older guy. It is more the sentiments and description of your boyfriend and his (frankly...childish) reaction to the suggestion. I do not think he is mature enough to marry you, or anyone else right now. Bear in mind that a man can earn 500K pa, and be sweet and genuine. And be emotionally (if not financially or socially) hurt by your actions. Genuinely. And precisley what does the guy stand to get out of the deal if you DO NOT form a relationship and feelings arise between you? On that salary a guy looking for no strings liaisons could hire an awful lot of 'fairly attractive' (to put it mildly!) escorts, and probably would. Like the ones you have discounted, who possibly wanted escorts without the fee. I should think this one through, bearing in mind humans are overwhelmingly driven by something called Reward-Based Behavioural Patterns. You have outlined your expected returns. What are his going to be?
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I can hardly see a man wanting to date and spend mney on and enjoy everything about the female he spends time with without sex after a while. Usually it becomes a full relationship. If I were the rich guy, I sure wouldnt be dumping lots of money on a girl for just someone to hang out socially with and been seen with, the money would be the icing on the cake for her if I found the female I could love because, you see...the person born into riches or who happened into a lucrative business or career and has whatever money can buy will eventually find that the only thing money can't buy is love. So its more likely that a sugar daddy will want to find love and is just dumb enough to think that using money to catch a girls attention will give him a chance.
You are treading dangerous ground. since you already have a boyfriend. If you are lonely and its just companionship, then it might be possible that finding someone who is polyamorous would be an option. There are different types of poly couples, many who are married, have a partner already who is aware of and okay with shareing you, and some relationships are just loving like a family member and for companionship but there is no sex, others go for the attraction and friendship both and have you then have another fully functioning love partner. Some men can't handle sharing, others can.
Most often feeling will develop for another person in your life. It doesn't mean that you may prefer the new person over ethe one you're with, but rather that you love them both for their differences. You could easily end up in a position of loving each one equally, not able to give up either one but losing one if the first partner was never okay with polyamory. This is not like swinging for just the sex, this type of relationship is truly for loving the person's company, who they are and often it can lead to falling in love. You may want to read up on polyamory and pass it by the boyfriend to see how he feels about it. If you want to balance the two, you need to be really good at relationship skills because the usual issues that come up in one relationship if you can't handle always successfully, become two fold or more if you add one or two more partners. The type of stress this brings upon you, of having to give enough time to each partner so non feels neglected, and working through any worries that arise, is more stress than the average person can handle but it is super personal growth material. It is not for the lonely, bored or faint hearted as the best option because it is work, just like any relationship, just more work.
Thinking a sugar daddy position is safe that there will be no sex is just fooling yourself or due to not being world wise yet.
The reason for sugar daddy dating sites is mostly the same as any regular dating sites, the guys whether they mention a sexual relationship or not blatantly, all want one in the end. Its just that these guys have the money to take good care of the girlfriend so she doesnt have to worry about working or having a shortage in the budget.
If its only boredome that is the issue and you dont need to work, perhaps you could find a passtime to fill up your time, donated time to charities, check out Meetup.com for something you like and find other people who feel the same, make new friends. Into yoga, board games, meditation, dancing, whatever, you can find a meet up somewhere on the subject you have interest in and others who feel like minded.
Good luck.
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