So I'm a 35 y/o f and I met a younger guy (24) on a dating website. He told me straight out that he was only looking to hook up was not looking for anything serious. I was very attracted to him so I agreed to this. Needless to say me being the emotional person I am, I did develop feelings for him after only a few times getting together. When I told him this (through text bc who talks in person anymore? Lol) he was nice but said we should probably end things. I told him I'd still wanted to see him but it was up to him. His response was "let's take a break" that was a few weeks ago and I haven't heard from him. Should I just consider this over? Or should I still cling to that small hope he'll contact me.? I'm so confused....
ciao77 answered Monday July 14 2014, 7:27 pm: I agree with the answer below. When a guy tells you they're not looking for anything serious, you need to take it at face value. He was honest about what he was looking for, and you agreed to it out of attraction to him. But sometimes emotions get caught up and we develop feelings. It happens. You probably didn't intend for it to work out that way, but you can't fight how you feel. He, on the other hand, did not develop feelings. In my experience, men are usually either a) upfront about what they want- and he was, or b) send you signs early on, even if they are not direct. They are not hard to read, for the most part. Sometimes women overanalyze or keep their hopes up high...but there is no reason to, because he already told you he isn't looking for a relationship. If a man really wants you, he will make it known through his actions.
You are fortunate enough that he is being honest with you from the start. Some people lead women on or make them believe there is something there when there really isn't (only to conveniently keep them around as backup).. My take on it is that his telling you he wants to take a break is a gentler way of breaking it off. He knows that you developed feelings for him, while he still only wants to have a fling. You need to see eye-to-eye with the men you date. If you want potential for a relationship, then you need to date men who by their words and more importantly, their actions, show you that they are looking for the same. Try to let go of this guy, even though it's easier said than done. The age difference alone leads me to believe he is simply not ready for anything serious-- please try to date men around your own age (higher likelihood of wanting something more serious, and being on your level in terms of emotional maturity). When you feel ready, date other men. Keep your options open, because he is not interested in having a relationship with you. When you are with a guy, take what they say and how they act as clues into how they really feel. If a (mature) man really wants to be with you, he WILL make it known. [ ciao77's advice column | Ask ciao77 A Question ]
Razhie answered Monday July 14 2014, 6:35 pm: It's over.
You developed feelings, and that wasn't the kind of situation he wanted to be in. So he respectfully, and honestly, backed out.
He did the right thing.
Unless you have suddenly changed your mind, and decided that actually you'd be perfectly content just having sex, and not getting emotionally attached to him, then it's over. You two don't want the same things, so you shouldn't be involved. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
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