|
I want my best friend back
a couple months ago I stopped talking to my best guy friend.it's because two girls I used to be friends with hate me, and he has a huge crush on the one of them so she was able to turn him against me. My friends say what he did was wrong, just believing her over me. His birthday is the day after mine andI wanted to send him a text at midnight just let him know that I didn't forget. I don't know if I should apologize or just keep quiet until something happens. But it's already been a while and I really miss him. My friend say no and I kind of think that I should have but then I want to. And if we do become friends again that I'm going to have to worry about them still talking to him. What if it doesn't go right because they are still friends with him. I really don't know what to do and I really miss him and none of us like each other. Help?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Your friend is right...don't go apologizing for something you didn't do. Most likely he is young and still impressionable and has no idea that instead of taking someone at their word, it is best that person have earned their trust to be honest in what they said before believing them just because you have some connection to or relationship with the person. Younger people often havent learned how to do this. When an accusation is heard, instead of instantly accepting it is so, it is best to take time to do ones own digging and asking and checking to discover if it is so or not.
The male friend of yours is obviously not there yet. Time will tell as years go by whether it was immaturity and he grew out of it or whether its something he learned or doesnt care to learn.
You can send a birthday greeting if you wish but dont expect anything back.
Woman can be vicious to each other and get jealous easily, more so at the younger age bracket. My guess is that it;s highly likely that as his girlfriend, she couldn't handle the fact that he had you as a best friend, non romantic friend. So she lied and made up something to get him to break off his friendship with you so she wouldnt have to feel jealous anymore. Hopefully in time her true character will be revealed to him. He needs to discover it for himself, not have it told or pointed out by others. But once he sees what she really is about, he'll leave her. Always be willing to forgive and take him back as a friend. If he does this again in the future though, its a situation of 'fool me once-shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.' What I mean is if he shows he hasn't learned his lesson and keeps repeating it, then it may be best to not take him back as a friend at that point.
]
What would you be apologizing to him for? Did you actually do something or was it those girls that made something up?
If you actually did something that would cause him to turn away from this friendship, then yeah, you should apologize. Then it's up to him to decide whether he wants to talk to you.
If you didn't do anything and it was just those girls causing drama because they don't like you, don't apologize because I don't see what you'd be apologizing for.
If you didn't do anything, yeah it was wrong of him to just assume that and cut the friendship. That means he didn't value your friendship over the girl he had a crush on.
If you do become friends with him again, don't listen to those other girls. It's fine for him to be friends with whoever he wants. Just don't talk badly about them and just show him that you're a good friend.
]
I would text him at midnight on his birthday, it will show him you care, I would talk to him, be honest with how you miss him and apologize. Honesty doesn't hurt. Good luck and I hope you get your best friend back.
-Hardcore-Band-Geek
]
More Questions: |