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why is it that the more i open up to my parents, the meaner they are to me
and the more i reserve myself, the nicer they are to me, cause they assume i'm "depressed"? it's so fucking annoying. i feel like i'd be a much better parent cause i'd always try to show my kid positivity. a parent shouldn't be making their already insecure kid more insecure. i mean, they've known me my whole life. they know how i became how i became. there's just a lot, and it's just frustrating me and clearly i have issues or i wouldn't be asking strangers for help on the internet. sometimes i just want to abstain from talking completely just cause my parents don't often make conversations enjoyable, when they should. i want family time to be more enjoyable. i hate hearing my parents argue over stuff, too, it just gets to me and i have to play music loud to drown it out. i'm too old for this shit. i just graduated high school, but i need a car. and i can't work til i have a car, cause my neighborhood is isolated. i just don't want another shit summer before university.
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When you open up to your parents, I assume it means you are communicating with them on a level you didn't before. As to what you are sharing, if its asking for their opinion, advice or help with tough situations you find yourself in and the reason they are fighting so often is that they have plenty issues of their own stressing them out, it may feel overwhelming to them to be presented with any of your concerns or even just updates on what youve been up to. They can't focus on it if they are drowning in their own stuff. It isn't for you to bring up or even try to help fix your parents problelms. So if their problems right now are preventing them from mentally "being there" for you, you'll need to reach out to others. Do you have any other seeing a counselor people you could reach out to for help, support to help get going on getting a job? Perhaps there is an aunt, cousin or maybe even a friends family would take you in until you could find a job, save up and get your own place or an apt to share with someone. If you can pull off getting a person or family to stay with where the location is good for doing job access, then that would help you in the right direction. You could then easily take the bus or where ever you get a job find if there is a organized car pooling deal at the company. Then save up for your own car. I haven't any other ideas right now but if this one falls into place, it can solve all your problems except the one of your parents being so preoccupied with their own troubles to fail to focus on you. It's not right but not every parent does everything right 100% of the time. Good luck dear.
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Oh dear! You are frustrated! Take a breather and slow down!!
I live very isolated myself and I understand its hard to get a job!
I'm sorry your parents arent being parents at this point.Don't wait to tell them that you need their love and support and that it doesnt help when they climb down on you!
If you do need a car,maybe I suggest,in some places,they can offer you a type of plan that you can make some kind of payment upfront,even for those who dn't have jobs,many car dealers (Used ones) will be more generous because they want to make a sake.
Is there maybe a public bus that comes nearby your house that you are able to take to go find a job? Check for a bus scheduele and see if that is available
Make clear to your parents also that you are trying to make better changes for your life and try to communicate better with you and see if they can help you out
Be blessed!
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There is not a lot here with which to offer you advice with. Yes you are frustrated that I can see. Yes you want a car so you can get out and get a job. Would this car be only needed for the summer or would you be taking it to University? Many Universities do not allow Freshmen to have cars unless they live off campus.
You don't have what you consider ideal parents, welcome to the club. Not all parents are like the Nelsons, a TV show that was on long before you were born. Your parents are not supporting they put you down and they argue a lot. There are a lot of families like them and there is not much you can do about it.
If I knew what they say to you and how it is putting you down I might be able to offer you some suggestions on what to say to them. My father never had a word of encouragement for anyone. I became a firefighter, I was in the military, I received a merit promotion for something I did for which there was not medal to award. My father never said a word to me about this.
His grandson also became a firefighter/paramedic. He has saved a number of lives both as a paramedic and a fire fighter. For one rescue he received his department's medal of Merit. Not a word from his grandfather.
So you see you're not the only one who had parent problems. My story doesn't end there. After my son received his award, which was for reviving a baby who was clinically dead when he arrived on scene. When my father didn't acknowledge this award I gave it to my father with both barrels. It didn't help this is just the way he was, but I felt better.
If you are going off to university in the fall then you are age 17 or 18 which to me makes you an adult. I waited until I was almost 50 before I finally told my father off. I suggest you don't wait that long. Just go about it the right way. Do not do so in anger as I did.
You can do it in person by conversation or you can write them a letter. Just make sure to tell them you love them. Then explain to them calmly how much their put downs have hurt you. Also explain to them how well and how much you have achieved in spite of the depressing put downs. Ask them and tell if they could be more supportive of you so that you can really excel at university.
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