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How to get him to unblock me?
It's been almost two weeks since he told me that it's over. and no matter how he explains, I still have questions, everyday, in my head. like, does he still love me the way he used to? how long should I wait? will I even get to talk to him again? will he talk to me again? what I really want, is for him to love me again like we used to. I miss everything, and I just took it for granted. I wanna see how he's doing, I wanna know when will he talk to me again? what is he really doing?
okay, what really happened. at the beginning of the month, we had a fight at night. ended in tears. I was frustrated with him not doing anything with his life and us not going out and having fun like young people do. he's frustrated that I was always unhappy and negative all the time. I wouldn't have been like so if he did what I told him to do. but after that, he completely blocked me. a few days later,I went to talk to him, he says that what I did made him really anxious that's why he couldn't be with me anymore. he says that he still loves me but we can't be together. we have to work on ourselves or else we'll be toxic for each other. but in the past he did a lot of things which are irresponsible that made me question his actions sometimes and every time I confront, always ends with "it's all your fault", so right now, I don't really know whether to trust him or not. even more so when we're apart because I constantly feel that we might grow apart, and I constantly think about him and miss him. sure, he's a little young, he bothers me all the time, frustrates me all the time, but I love him, and what I did, I would give the world if it means that I could get him back.
so, my question is, how do I get him to unblock me and how long I should wait to see him again?
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I can only go based on what you've said. I don't really know what behavior you contribute to the relationship that may be causing the problems but right now, if he's blocking you, he's done that because he does not want contact with you. People who are in love with someone do not block them, they want to hear from them.
You are right that you both are best off working on ourselves so that you won't be toxic in a relationship. Other than two people who are married and working on themselves, it's best to break up as a romantic relationship and focus on oneself. I have a daughter doing that right now and she's very happy and taking classes, reading books, anything to further personal growth.
The only thing that holds us back from doing something like that and breaking it off with someone for a while or for good is our feelings. Our subconscious is where all our feelings are stored but our conscious mind knows what is currently better for us. Only problem, our subconscious mind ends up warring with our conscious mind, thus being torn between our feelings of love versus doing what needs to be done which will hurt our heart for a while.
This is entirely up to you whether you start working on yourself. The internet is a wealth of information. I've found great you tube videos by relationship and dating experts on the things that men and women do wrong in a relationship and advice on how to do it all right. You can find that in books too, or check around for classes on learning to understand yourself and different personality types better. Once you can get along with any kind of person out in society really well, you're in a better place to start working one on one in a romantic relationship. Good luck.
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Hi, I am currently going through the same situation as you and I can only hope to provide a little insight into all of this for you.
I'll start with my relationship. My boyfriend and I had been together for quite some time and everything was going just great. We agreed (most of the time) on everything, we were really great together. But we did have our bad days. Then one day, we had a great huge fight and decided to break up. Of course, I decided to be dramatic and told him to never speak to me again (something I didn't want at all) but he respected that. Fast forward a few months later and we do speak now. We are friends, but not to the extent where we're talking night and day. It took some time and a lot of patience but it gets better with time. Although that is so cliche to say, it's true.
It's easy to want to blame your boyfriend and say that it's his fault. But take a step back and try to look at everything with a fresh pair of eyes. Do you think how you acted or something that you said might have made an impact?
My advice to you is to give it some time, maybe both of you will cool down and maybe start to become friends again. Like you, he too needs time to grieve over this relationship. Take some time to yourself, take time to be as sad as you need to be, and do things that you enjoy. Make yourself happy. With time you might become friends again and he's probably only blocking you as a coping mechanism.
I hope that this is hoped in some way, I wish you nothing but the best! X
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