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Worried someone is trying to get between my boyfriend and I.
15 / F
My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of months now and recently I have noticed one girl in particular showing an interest in my boyfriend. Before I had met my boyfriend I was not exactly friends with this girl because she is a bit of a bitch and I hate to use this word but she is what would be described as a "slut", but ever since we started dating she suddenly started hating me and being really rude to me. At first it was just her but now she has her friend against me as well and I feel really uncomfortable around them and always feel like I'm being watched. Every time i walk past them they stare at me and i know they are talking about me because they all turn and look at me at the same time. Individually all of the girls in this group are nice to me but when they are together they are horrible. Also, the one girl in particular is acting very "fake" around my boyfriend and when I'm with him she treats me completely different than what she would if I was alone. I have talked about it with my boyfriend and he is very understanding of everything and the way I feel but I still don't know what to think about it all. Even worse is that he was at a party they were at and all he girls were drunk and were hanging off him and the one girl was looking at him like she wanted to have sex with him (his words not mine). He hated the whole night and was texting me the whole time telling me how much he wanted to get away from them but he had no way of getting home until the time that he had arranged to be picked up from the party. We have a very open relationship with each other and are 100% honest which makes me feel a little bit better but I don't like the way they are treating me as if I have done something wrong when really I'm just with they guy they want. i really do like him and I afraid that it's going to get to the point where I'm just going to give in to the pressure and l don't want that to happen because I'm scared to lose him.
ps. I go to a small school and there really is no way of avoiding these girls
Sorry it's long I just really don't know how much longer I can take this. Advise please!
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Hi there! OK, so the girls at school seem a bit hostile toward you since the new boyfriend. And they're all over him at parties after a few drinks. It sounds to me like you've caught yourself one of those guys that girls do tend to fancy and find desirable. There are guys like this. And so you're finding yourself the object of their envy, jealousy if you like. And so, you're now feeling that the girl who makes 'come to bed' eyes at him is a threat. And the 'slutty' (it's OK, I know what you mean!) one, she's another predator too, eh? And it's piling-up the pressure on your relationship? It's good news that he's finding their attention rather unwanted. A guy who knows other girls fancy him could use that against you...which he isn't doing. And that's making him look EVEN MORE desirable to the girls who fancy him, they'll be like "WOW! He's loyal to his girlfriend as well." It's a complex thing this envy isn't it? It's a part of life unfortunatelty. Invite friends to your house and it's much bigger than theirs, drive a more prestigious car....whatever. Some (maybe the more 'true' friends) will be be happy with you and for you. Some will resent you and envy you stongly. OK, where are we? You can't avoid them. You shouldn't really have to or want to. You'll have many same-sex friends all your life, and only one partner at a time. They are and will be important to you, nobody can make their boyfriend the one and only aspect and human relationship of their life. First thing is not to play-up to their envy. Try not to project a "Don't you wish you were me?" attitude. It can be tempting, can't it? But don't. If you can give the appearance that you feel a bit lucky it might help. Perhaps the odd comment that you didn't expect him to want to go out with you? Be a bit 'humble', mention that "guys usually seem to fancy..." and choose the most glamourous, or the 'slutty'(no offence!) friend. If there's any guys you know they've got their eye on (excluding YOUR chap, of course!) big them up. Say so-and-so's a great looking guy. DO NOT suggest 'so-and-so' isn't a patch on your guy! In general when people are happy with what they've got they are less likely to envy others. So take every opportunity to show them that they have lots going for them. If their responses and answers make you boil-up a bit, bite your lip. At the end of the day, the guy DID choose YOU. Ok, the girls fancy him. DO NOT let this make you suspicious of him. DO NOT question him about them all the time. He said that he wanted to 'get away' from the party...let that be enough. It will be very easy to
fall into a suspicious mindset in this situation (which is often partly what the jealous friends want) and if he has keep answering questions about other girls, and keep having to prove he's loyal to you, it really will put him (and the relationship) under even more pressure. Remember too, that your friends will fancy, and date other guys. And each will normally then get the idea that their boyfriend is ' actually the best boyfriend' (this mental mechanism would take a very long time to explain, but trust me, it happens). Then there will be far less envy and hostility flying about in the air. I'm afraid I haven't been able to give you one specific cause and cure. It's all part of the dynamics of human relationships and they are complex and varied. You kind of have to get used to it and play along, be diplomatic, not brag and be too 'in the face' of people you have to live with. It's part of being an adult. Probably as a little girl you and your mates envied each other's toys? Dresses? And there were a few arguments, tantrums and harsh words? You could say you're just facing the 'grown-up' and adult-world version of these playground jealousies and power-plays. Hope there's something in here that you find helpful. CJB
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First of all you need to take a moment and thank your lucky stars for your boyfriend! He is a keeper! Do you know how many guys would have had sex with the girl anyway? Teenage boys(and a lot of grown men)would not turn down any offer of sex from any girl ever! The fact he believes what you are saying and he was honest enough to tell you what they did is just amazing! Very few young men possess this level of maturity. This guy has earned your trust in spades, so please do not start over thinking this to the point where you get upset with him over some future decision you assume he could make. If you do that you are playing right into the hands of those nasty girls who are out to hurt you and destroy your relationship. Show your guy some extra appreciation and tell him how much it means to you that he handled the situation the way he did. I don't think you have to worry about this one!
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Teenage girls can be really mean.
There isn't much you can do to make them stop. They're not harassing you, they're just jealous. I know it sucks to be talked about but the only thing you can do is ignore them and be the better person. I know it's cliche and easier said than done but it's your best option.
Don't let some stupid girls get in the way of your relationship. He likes you and they're jealous. So ignore them and enjoy your relationship.
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If you trust your boyfriend then it doesn't matter what these girls do or say. Maybe these girls are jealous of you as you have him. Be flattered by that and enjoy your relationship.
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