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People Insult the Guy I Like
I really, really like this guy named David. I've had a crush on him for a couple weeks and I think he's the greatest guy I've liked in a long time. Maybe the greatest I've EVER liked. He's cute, sweet, smart, and funny. He is a Christian like me and I really respect him a lot.
The thing is that people keep talking down about him. Like tonight, someone was talking about how nice, down to earth, and easy to talk to he was, then someone else accused him of being behind it. Like those were actually HIS words.
I wish people wouldn't talk bad about him. Should I believe anything they say? Or should I still like him? I don't want to just forget about him. What should I say if I ever need to stand up for him? WDYT?
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Consider the source of the accusations, we're talking teens here, whose brains isn't fully done maturing yet. That doesnt happen until our mid 20s or so.
The prefrontal cortex, is a section of the brain that weighs outcomes, forms judgments and controls impulses and emotions. This section of the brain also helps people understand one another. The prefrontal cortex section of the brain in teens is still a little immature as compared to adults; and that is why teens tend to follow the crowd, make snap judgements, not think ahead to possible consequences of their actions, not research to discover what is really true or not, etc...
Never let some one elses opinion or ideas control the choices you make in life. Your life is yours to live, not for others to live through you or even attempt to influence.
I am kinda surprised that you ask if you should still like him? Just because you find a mouse in a cookie jar, that does not make him a cookie, just because someone makes a statement or judgement about someone else, that does not mean its true. If all your friends were to say that they hate your parents and think they are very mean and abusive and you should run away from home, would you do it just because thats what 'they' think, regardless of whether its true or not? I don't think so. It shouldn't apply to any area of life. In 4th grade when I switched schools, all the girls approached me the first day to tell me to not be friends with Twila because she is a loser and dumb and boring, etc... This Twila lived next door to the house we'd just moved into. Did I believe them? No. I got curious though. Kept alert and investigated on my own. I found there to be nothing wrong with the gal. But I didnt became close friends either. We just didn't have much in common. But I found no reason to shun her or treat her mean as the others did. In times like this, it is important to draw upon your inner strength for you may come under attack for associating with someone who doesnt have the stamp of approval from other teens.
Listen to your inner voice and listen to God, you'll know the right thing to do. Dating, if it comes to that with David is for getting practice at becoming good at spotting what character traits you like and don't like in a relationship. If there are too many dislikes or the feelings for each other fade, its time to move on and strive to go for a step better each time. You will learn things you need to learn to make a good dating partner your self. These kinds of decisions in life like who you date, what you wear, what college you go to, what profession you choose, etc...are all your choice to make, and is based on your own personal preferances which wont be the same as anyone else. Never give control of your individual choices and preferances away to someone or several someones else to make for you.
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People are probably jealous that he's actually a nice guy. I mean you'll hear people say good and bad things about him so it'd be wrong to only believe the bad.
So go with the innocent until proven guilty thing.
People talk bad about people all the time. Sometimes it's true, a lot of the time it's not so don't let this get to you. No one is perfect though but I'd say give it a chance.
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I would say give him a fair chance in terms of getting to know him. Sometimes in a sad twist of fate hear say about someone is right. BUT it doesn't always ring true. I say talk to him, spend some time with him, and truly get to know him. He may actually be the good guy you think he is but how would you know without taking the time to get to know him? Of course he could be a chooch but you wouldn't know if you didn't seek. Also people may just be putting him down because of his faith. Of course take everything with a grain of salt because he may have a few skeletons laying in his closet. So don't believe everything others say but do keep it in mind as you spend time with him. Keep an open mind to all sides basically. Good luck.
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