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Met a guy at my school that goes to another school
I met a new guy at my college who happens to go to another college in another state. It's not far from me but we met and clicked really well. We did hook up, minus the sex, and got each other's numbers. He even slept in my bed the night we met. Quick, I know, but it happened and I don't regret it. However, before anything happened and we were just laying in my bed, cuddling, I asked him how many girls he hooked up with at my school and he told me it was only one. I ask because the friend he was visiting, his roommate had made me think he hooked up with many more in just the way he was saying things to him and I knew something was going to happen and I didn't just want to be another number for him, so I asked. I guess after he told me it was only one, I seemed skeptical so he told me I think too much and to just trust him. He said "let me explain something to you, I stayed awake til five in the morning with you waiting for your shift for work to be over, I let you paint my nails because you were complaining you were bored, for the first half hour we were together in your bed, we just cuddled and I don't do that and you were the only girl that I actually gave me real number to tonight."
I just don't know how to approach this now, I do like him and he was very sweet and kind and I would love to keep talking to him but he does go to school in another state and when we text, it seems as if I bother him. After he left this morning, he told me to text him, though so that must mean he really did want me to.
I just need to know if I'm being crazy, should I keep talking to him? Or was he being a gentlemen in telling me this because he thought of it as a one night stand? Should I just let it go?
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Well to put your mind at ease, he does sound like he's into you for more than just hooking up because you guys didn't even have sex.
Like Dragonflymagic said, trust takes time. You barely met him, so that's why you don't know whether to completely trust him or not. But if you don't trust him, then you guys have nothing going for you. If you do trust him, then you guys actually have a chance.
So text him, enjoy it and don't think too much into it. Until he gives you a reason not to trust him, then just go for it.
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Sounds like he's into you for you. What another person says is just speculation. You can't count on it meaning anything. Its only his opinion or his interpretation of what he heard this guy say.
As was already stated, its a rare guy who'd spend the night and be content with just cuddling and not sex. And no...it doesnt mean he's gay, just respectful of you and giving you time to be ready for that part of a relationship. A guy letting you paint his nails? Wow, he was really comfortable with you, not many guys will let girlfriends or wives do that with them.
It takes time to build trust in a relationship. So though there was no reason to know whether he is telling the truth, there's also no way to know if he was lying. So treat the situation as innocent until proven guilty. I dont know if a guy 'used' you in the past but if so, you'd have an idea of what possible signs might point to there being a similar issue. I said might not for sure cus we all can misread signs in someone we dont know too well yet.
Cuddling to me isn't something I'd consider a 'one night stand' even if he slept in your bed. If a guy was really after sex with you for just one night, not intending to see you again, why would he go through the trouble to tell you how different he feels about you and try to give examples, give you his cell # asking you to keep in touch?
Only a guy trying to line up a permanent sex partner to come back to might try to do that if he liked the sex but according to you, that did not happen. Kissing and cuddling are not sex in my book but are intimate gestures between a couple.
Keep a tight guard on your thoughts dear. Letting one over-imaginitive negative thought take up residence in your mind, with your dwelling on it so much, over thinking, can start a snowball effect of that negative thought inviting another and another until you've imagined an entire scenerio and in your mind have condemned him already or suspect him of something. Its good to remain alert and watchful in regards to dating someone but there's also going beyond a point that is healthy when it comes to a suspicious nature.
Sure, keep talking to him. LDR's are hard but you both have met in person first. I dont know how soon either of you will be done with college, if you continue to hit it off well, it will be hard for certain parts of the relationship to grow until you can be together frequently in person on a regular schedule. One example is the growth of trust, that can't happen online or by cell or texting.
If he doesnt respond immediately to a call or text, it doesn't mean anything bad at all. Guys are able to have and juggle several priorities in life at same time, school, job, girlfriend. More often, females put the guy as top priority and everything else takes 2nd or 3rd place and on down. Guys don't necessarily run their lives that way so thats nothing to worry about. You are not bugging him but not keeping in touch. Once a day should be fine, even every other day if he's really busy cramming for a test. I figure most women want to find a great guy that they can eventually be with long term, married or unmarried. If this is also important to you...then dating is the way to find out what a guys character is made up of, and whether he is right for you and you for him. What we feel initially for a person can change over time as we get to know them better. You haven't spent enough time with him to determine yet if he's the best guy for you or not. good luck!
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It sounds like he's interested. There are very few "players" who are willing to put in a full night with a girl and not add sex to the mix. I'd say, keep in touch, go slow. That way you'll get to know him better before you decide to have an intimate relationship with him.
Hope this helps. Good luck :)
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