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check iambic pentameter sonnet
I have written an iambic pentameter sonnet, but actually i am quite confused about iambic pentameter!
Can someone help me check it? Thanks!
A summer night we come across again,
Is In the countryside with easy life.
And time has passed so fast but now is still.
And I remember shining eyes of you.
Sometime you had a dream of literature,
Of love, of traveling all around the world.
But when we drink here talking trivial things,
The glasses click a sound of broken dreams.
Again I wander lonely in the street,
Someone is kicking can ahead of me:
A jingle song from whose tough top,
A heavy sigh from whose empty heart.
The street is full of hot and sticky air,
I feel so cold that in a summer night.
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Aw bless this is cute.
Iambic Pentameter is a sentence with 5 iambs- that's one stressed syllable after one unstressed syllable... e.g the word "before" is like be-FORE Like ba-DUM.
like a heart beat.
So... on to your poem;
A summer night we come across again
a SUM-mer NIGHT- we COME- aCROSS- aGAIN
--this first line is iambic pentameter. In other words, ten syllables.
"Sometime you had a dream of literature"
Is not Iambic pentameter. If you say "lit-tra-ture" it is, but if you say "Lit-er-at-ure" it isn't. (I can't get my head around that... maybe cut the "a" and use "dreams" instead?)
"Of love, of travelling all around the world" Is not Iambic pentameter either. Unless you pronounce it "Trav-ling" rather than "Trav-el-ing"
Anyhoo try
"Of love, Of travelling around the world" instead.
Same with "But when we drink..."
Try "But when we drink, talking trivial things"
"A jingle song..."
Try "A jingling song from whose tough top" maybe?
"A heavy sigh..." Is one short too. Try "The Heaviest..."
The last line.. is not Iambic pentameter either but I really wasn't sure about that.
"I had felt so cold in that summer night"- That's Iambic pentameter.
Its a nice poem though, does it ALL have to be iambic pentameter?
Surely its alright not to be.
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