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Coke head bf
Coke head is being a little harsh. But one of my best friends jumped into a relationship a few weeks after ending a really long relationship. The guy was nice enough when I first met him and I'm happy if she's happy. Until I found out that he does coke "every now and then." It really disgusts me because I come from a family with three brothers who are drug addicts. (Luckily they don't do it anymore but still hate any kind of hard drug.)
He tells her that he won't do it anymore and she keeps saying she has no reason to not believe him yet. But I'm just worries about her. I know she's a big girl and can make up her own mind but it makes me have a dislike towards him, which may not be fair to him-but I'm only human and trying to process my feelings towards the situation. So I don't really ask her questions about him and when she brings him up I listen but don't really ask questions so I think she knows I'm not his number one fan. Which makes me sad cause she's my best friend and I feel as if we are creating a wedge in our friendship. They hang out literally everyday and night and she rarely has time to hang out anymore. I know this is life and being 22 means it's only gonna get worse as far as seeing friends go because everyone will get married as I age. I'm also in a long distance relationship so it's hard being far from him and feeling lonely at the same point sometimes.
I really just wish she was better about fitting me into her life still because I do miss her and care about her. At least in her old relationship she was good about making time for me and her girlfriends.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There is nothing you can do to affect her choice of boyfriend. In fact, it's possible that objecting to him would make her more attracted to him! (Called the Romeo and Juliet effect).
The best thing you can do is be the best friend you can and be supportive of her. Don't offer your opinion any more unless she asks.
I understand you're lonely as she's your best friend and your boyfriend is long-distance. You might try widening your social circle! Everyone changes and grows apart and most people's best friends at 22 are rarely the same people at 32.
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I cant see anywhere that you actually asked a question. If you meant to, you might want to write again. If you only meant to air your feelings, I suppose thats okay.
But since this is an advice column, It doesn't really help you in any way to just vent here.
I wish the best to you in your situation.
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Honestly talk to her. tell her pretty much everything you just said...but don't call him a coke head. I have a history of addicts in my life and I totally understand the not being a fan of him or being a fan of those type of people. If she is your friend, she'll understand why you are a little iffy because you've seen what addiction can do to people and how addicts can effect everyone around them. With that being said try to be there for her anyway because you are her friend and it's the best thing you can do. Try to get to know him or at least on a civil level. Be there for her when she needs you and watch him to make sure he doesn't drag her down the path with him.
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