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Frustrated with Dad
Okay so bare with me. And pardon my language too. But anyway, my dad and I have always been good friends, but recently my parents got divorced and my dads been kind of a jerk lately. I am a gamer, and I always have been. A few years ago, i bought myself and xbox 360 (with my own money) and I play it a lot. My parents somehow got the bright idea that they could take it away even though i bought it with my own money, i buy my own games, pay for my own live etc. But they take it away because i get bad grades and all, and i can kind of see why..? But I dont think its right. But my dad (ever since the divorce) has been a real jerk about the xbox, and he complains i spend too much time on it, and that i dont focus enough on school. He blames the xbox for my bade grades. I simply disagree, i just straight up dont care about school. Homework is dumb, I come home for me time. Not to do shit from school. But hes blaming the xbox for my bad grades, and Im getting really pissed the hell off that hes such a jerk about it. He acts like he owns the thing. Im frustrated as hell with him, and i'm getting to the point where im beginning to want to go live with my mum instead of him. He and I are becoming less of friends, and we fight almost daily. I love him (hes my dad) and I want to be great friends with him, but I hate when hes an ass to me about my passion, and takes it away from me. Its like me ripping his camera away from him and saying "oh well you didnt finish that quarterly review project your boss wanted you to complete, so no camera for you for like 2 months." and its slowly waisting my money away, and really beginning to piss me off. I want to maintain a good friendship with my dad, but its hard to do when i begin to hate him more and more every damn day. What the hell do I do?
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I can feel you sweetheart. But I can say that you can't blame your dad for being such a total jerk because of course he is jus after for your own good. Yeh, my 2nd and I are too close before. We play sports together and go outreach programs but he changed because he has to go business trips and when he comes home he would blame my skateboard for having a low grades. But we are still very close because we talked and I managed to talk with him despite of his business.
I am telling you a part of me because I want you to know that your dad minds your own good. It's not the divorce of why he became a total jerk but because of he just want you to grow up according to what he wants you to be and he's molding you to become responsible. Playing games is not a hindrance only if you take studies and games in balance and also games should be on moderation. Don't be addicted to it as it will ruin your studies.
Your closeness between your dad can be bring back if you'll follow him. Study, obey him and play. That's just life of a gamer.
And also a great fact is that playing rpg can make you smart coz your brain will sharpen especially if you think of strategies. So keep up but in moderation sweetie ;)
i hope this would help and feel free to ask me. :)
'blueheart'
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I completely agree with Rahzie.
It's normal for teenagers to want to play xbox all day and all night. Your parents can take away anything from you, I mean you're living under their roof. Even if you paid for it, you're still a minor. I agree that it might not be the best way to punish you but they can do it, there's nothing exactly wrong with it.
In my opinion, you just need to get your priorities straight. Like at some point you need to grow up and accept that there are other things that need to be done before "me time". Once you finish all the things that need to be done then you can have time for yourself to do what you want. I mean it's just the responsible thing to do even if you may not like it. Just gotta grow up sometimes.
Everybody hates homework. You may not agree with it but in life you're gonna have to do things you don't like. You can't just brush it off because you think it's pointless or you just don't care or don't want to.
You can't change what your dad does, it's his choice and even though you may not like it, he can do that.
So I think if you want to save the relationship with your dad and still keep your xbox around, get your priorities straight.
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You are minor living in his house? Then can take your xbox away, even if you bought it.
While you are a dependant, your property rights flow through your parents. Although there are certainly laws to protect high-earning minors, if Justin Bieber's mom wanted to restrict him from say, driving his Lamborghini (when he was under 18) she would had the legal authority to do so, even though I have no idea how she would have managed to actually stop him from say, just buying another one...
I understand why you'd disagree with that or be unhappy with that, but you are going to have a really, really hard time finding a parenting expert, a lawyer, an ethicist or moralist who wont come down squarely on your dad's side on this one - taking the xbox away may not be the best way to punish you - but your parents have the ability and the right to remove the privilege of the Xbox despite the fact you bought it for yourself.
I'm also a gamer, and I get it. I love loosing myself in my games - some days it is the only fucking I want to do - but your idea of what 'me time' is totally unrealistic. For an adult, 'me time', doesn't start until a whole shit-load of other things are done - not just leaving work. You don't have to like school or homework, but you think you are off the clock the moment you leave the school and can just ignore your homework and jump into your hobby (not your passion, your hobby) you are wrong and your dad is going to resent that attitude. Hell, if I or my boyfriend had that attitude, the other person would resent it! The idea that you can just come home and do whatever the fuck you want - that's a child's idea. It's time to start to let it go, and create a balance of your responsibilities and your hobbies.
Here is the fundamental truth: If your father fucked up badly enough at work, there would be no camera. Then there would be no TV, and eventually, no food. Your dad's boss may be his friend, but he's also the boss. Just the way your dad may be your friend, but he's also your dad, as a Dad, he needs to make you see you are mucking this up.
Get your head on straight. From what you've written - which of course I know is never the whole story - your father might not be using the best way to motivate you or deal with your issues, but you've got some growing up to do and some problems to solve. And you aren't going to handle the things you need to handle if all you are spending too much of your time playing video games, or complaining and arguing because you aren't being allowed to play video games.
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