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Breakup: i wanna be flirty with other people and not tied down
Hi im a 14 year old female, i know , young. But i have a boyfriend of 2 months and i like him alot but i feel like im starting to loose feelings , like i wanna be flirty with other people and not tied down, but if i do break up with him i dont wanna miss him. He gets mad over the littlest things and hes grounded so how am i supposed to have feelings if we can barley talk ?! If you were in my situation what would you do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Ok so you're with a guy that you don't really have feelings for anymore. Why stay with him then? Not only is it bad for you, it's bad for him. It's not giving him the chance to find someone who's a better match for him too.
You will probably miss him when you guys break up. It's a natural thing but sometimes you have to do what's best for both of you.
And just a heads up, you can have feelings for someone when you don't talk a lot. I mean there are people who have their partner in the military and they barely talk so..it's not a weird or uncommon thing.
The truth is, you just don't like him like you used to. The excitement of the beginning of the relationship has worn off and you just don't want to be with him anymore. So let it go and find someone else who makes you happy or be single and enjoy it and let him find someone else who is better for him too.
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You're very young and will prolly have at least a dozen boyfriends in your lifetime before you finally find the "one" so it's really not a big deal. Just be kind, and break up with him in person, try to be as private about it as possible like after school or something. Just say it's not working out and that you care about him, just not in that way anymore. Eventually he'll get over it and you'll both be happier in the long run.
Hope I helped.
xoxo,
dottie4
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The early attraction to a person which is mostly their looks is sometimes all that a young person uses to base their decision on whether or not they will commit to dating someone. And that is often not enough to hold a persons interest for longer than days, weeks or a couple of months. What feels so good in the beginning is an energy released in people, where their head is up in the clouds and they have that tingly excited feeling inside because someone is paying attention to them, it validates you as being desirable as a girlfriend/boyfriend but once you've gone past the initial how good it makes you feel, you then begin to closely examine the other person and realize that there isn't much of anything you find interesting or attractive about that person. What you experienced may have been NRE, new relationship energy which once it wears off, leaves you with the reality of what the real attraction is or not.
It is good that you experienced this early on. Knowing what it is will help you in future dating. So if your feelings about him have changed or you finally discovered you never had them, then it's time to end the "dating" relationship but it doesnt have to be the end of friendship. Be nice about it. Tell him he's a nice guy, and you still like him alot as a male friend but you were so excited to be asked to be his girlfriend that you didn't realize until some time had passed that you don't have that kind of attraction or feelings needed to be his girlfriend.So you plan to go back to being free to date others again.
There's nothing you can do to prevent him from being disappointed, or totally crushed by this. But do not ever stay with a guy because you're afraid of hurting him. Dating and relationships is a situation in which everyone is going to feel let down, disappointed or really crushed and upset when the other does not feel the same and breaks up. This can happen many times during your dating life span.
You can have several guy friends at once and practice your flirting with them all. Hanging out at times with several different guys does not mean a girl is slutty, especially if she is not having sex. Kissing and holding hands is okay...you have to learn somehow which guys kiss feels better than anothers. If you make it clear that you are not going to commit to being anyones girlfriend right now, you just want to casually date a few different guys to be able to form an idea of what you like in a guy and then decide which one you are most interested in, guys will actually understand and have no problem with that. Its when you promise to be only their girlfriend that they have a problem. If one guy says you can't do that and must choose him or someone and pushes at you to do so...avoid him, he is not good relationship material. He is insecure, jealous and will likely be controlling and bossy too.
Hopefully this informations helps you decide what to do. If you encounter anything else that comes from this situation and need further help, just write me and I will be glad to help.
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