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Friends.. maybe more? Its complicated
So, in a nutshell. I met a girl online and we have been talking for over a month. First day we talked on PS3 we exchanged phone numbers and had a very lengthy conversation, and honestly since then that is the case. We have fun conversations, now she was engaged when we first met.
Out of no where she explained that they are no longer a couple, to be honest I am not sure if I believe that; however, she has been spending more time talking and texting me recently. And my confusion lies in the fact that she insists on talking with me every night and we end up falling asleep. She actually even text me asking if i will fall sleep with her on the phone. She states she lives at home with her parents, which I assume is true.
I honestly don't know what to make of the connection we have at this point. We have traded photos with each other, talk every day throughout the day, literally almost fall asleep with each other every night. she's 24 lives in a small town in Ohio and I'm 26 and I live in Los Angeles.
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The reason you struggle to pinpoint what your connection is is because so many connections don't have a label. You can look at a list of textbook traits of a friend and a significant other, but it isn't uncommon to find someone that falls somewhere in the middle. Your relationship is defined by you and her, not a label. However, there are some things to consider:
1. A month isn't a very long time to know someone. It is possible that you've yet to truly know her.
2. She just ended a very serious relationship. She could just be looking (unintentionally) for an outlet to pour what she just lost into. In other words, she could be seeking out a rebound, but one of an emotional connection.
3. And you're lack of certainty concerning their breakup could mean you don't fully trust her to know her own feelings, which could be an issue for you as well.
The only thing that can be determined by the information you've given us is that there is indeed a connection between you two. I don't think she's more than a friend at this point, but it would be a good idea to have a discussion about the possibility of there being more. Still, especially given the seriousness of her recent relationship, I'd wait until you're confident that she's over her ex.
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This just odd, but I think the most important thing you need to do now, is shit or get off the pot.
Either go out and visit her, or end this pseudo-relationship.
You are right to be skeptical. I'm really skeptical. I half expect when you show up in Ohio she'll be nowhere to be found - making up some nonsense about a family emergency or something else to avoid actually meeting you.
I hate to be that cynical, but it's sort of the most likely outcome here. It seems most likely that the person on the other end of these txts sees you as little more than a big-town escape fantasy - not a real and complete human being. I hope Zane is right, and that she is merely not that bright, rather than malicious.
But you could prove us all wrong if you get on a plane and go! Do it safely, but do it. If you really believe in what you have with her, go and see her and prove all our cynical hearts wrong.
But if you aren't ready to take the leap and go see her - or don't feel that strongly about her - then end it. This degree of virtual contact provides you with nothing but a distraction from the great life you have in front of you.
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Honestly, This is just a crush thing.
Nobody can truly fall for someone they never met, Yet alone you both live in completely different states. If she was engaged, I would find it really hard that she would suddenly sacrifice her engagement to someone she met online and never met in person. IF she did, Obviously engagement and being in a committed relationship doesn't mean much to her does it?
Fact is, You live in Los Angeles and she is in Ohio. Do you even know if she is who she says she is? No. You only know what she wants you to know. Doesn't it tell you something that she is falling for someone offline when she was engaged? No offense to you but this doesn't strike you as desperate at all?... Perhaps she has commitment problems If someone broke off an engagement or suddenly said "It didn't work out" and started talking to me more off the internet, I'd be a bit sketchy.
Realistically, She isn't into you. She is into the attention she is getting from you. This women doesn't even know you and you don't know her. Again, You only know what she wants you too know that's it.
I honestly wouldn't think much of it, One thing that really gets me is that she was or is engaged and talking to you. If she is that gullible and that easily seduced then maybe she isn't all that "catchy" in the first place. Sorry to break it to you and sorry for my brutality but she is nothing but a dumb broad looking for extra attention.
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