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my best friend is secretley talking to my boyfriend! *please help*
Hi there I'm 16/f and my boyfriend and I have been dating for three weeks now, and well I need your opinions. Let me start from the beginning. My best friend and I used to like obsess over my boyfriend last year before I even knew him. We both saw him at school we made a nickname for him for when we saw him we could talk about him without him knowing. Ok so my best friend she already knew him because they went to middle school together and when we started "stalking" him last year which was our 9th grade year, she told me how she thought he was cute and how they talked and liked each other in 8th grade, but never dated and stopped talking, and how she still thought he was cute and all that hence the reason we talked about him all the time. Well this year, I actually met him and we started talking and started dating. Well when we were about to start dating and I told my best friend, she was like its not a good idea hes mean and saying stuff like that and then if he would want to walk with me in the hallway she would get all mad and yell at me and a lot of the time be like "if your going to walk with him I'm not walking with you and him" and stuff like that. Well that was right before our Christmas break. Well after Christmas break which was last week our first week back, she was suddenly ok with him walking with me and even with him sitting with us at lunch. Then one night all of a sudden my boyfriend and I are snapchatting my boyfriend suddenly sends me these snaps saying "after you went to bed last night, Meghan and I snapchatted a lot. That was the first time ive talked to her in two years. I was upset and shocked especially that my own best friend didn't tell me she is snapchatting MY boyfriend. She tells me everything. Well a couple of days when by and he hasn't snapchatted me sense that night but then three nights ago, I look on his top snaps because you can tell who is your best friends and who you snapchat the most and she is his second top score and same with her!!! so that means hes even snapping her and not even me! plus she told my other two friends in our group and even made a comment where she laughed and mentioned how hes in her top snaps! that really set me off then finally today at lunch, I looked down at my boyfriends phone to notice that they were TEXTING! so now they text and on top of that right when im there they text secretly from across the table. Now I know what the secret little random looks they give to each other is which is the fact that theyre texting! One huge thing that sets me off about all of it is my "best friend" not even telling me. I don't like them doing this it makes me so mad but im scared to bring it up to her that she'll yell at me or something or say your over reacting or something and to him I don't want to say because were working out other issues. Heck I don't know I just want to know what do you guys think about all of this? do you think im over reacting or what? please help!! thank you!
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I would talk to your boyfriend. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 months, and my good friend (who is a girl) told me on a few different occasions about how she was talking to my boyfriend. I let her know i didn't appreciate it, so she stopped. I'm fine with them having a friendship, but he makes it known I'm his top priority. Your boyfriend should be doing the same thing.
You should let him know how much it bothers you. He may not know its bothering you (if he's oblivious) and it sounds like you don't have a very good friend.
I hope this helps, God Luck :)
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You're not over reacting. I'd be mad too.
I'll start with your friend. To be honest, your friend doesn't seem to be a real friend. It's completely obvious that she's likes him. I mean before you guys started dating, she was also obsessing over him. She doesn't respect the boundaries in a relationship.
Now as for your boyfriend, I'm really not sure what to say about him. I mean they could be texting completely innocent but since she's into him, it's probably not.
So I'd sit him down somewhere private and tell him that you know that they are talking to each other a lot and you don't have a problem with them talking, but while he's with you, you'd like him to be more respectful about texting other people while he's with you.
Then talk about how you heard your friend bragging about him being in her stop snaps.
If he's a good boyfriend, he won't try to fight all this because you are his girlfriend and you are top priority over your friend.
If he does, then just break up with him and find new friends and a better boyfriend.
So you can't make either of them stop talking. It's up to you to either freak out about it and have them be more secretive or talk to your boyfriend.
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He is cheating, He has even dropped plenty of hints that he is no longer interested in you.
I hate to burst your bubble, but I would be rethinking the definition of what a "best" friend really is. Someone who is any kind of friend does not go out of their way to try and date boyfriends of friends vice versa. I noticed in your paragraph that you are putting more of the blame on the friend rather then acknowledging that it goes both ways. Nobody forced your boyfriend to snapchat with your friend, He choose to do so on his own. Sure, This would piss me off a bit also but on the other hand you should know that any friend that tries to steal away your boyfriend/girlfriend isn't a friend. Any guy who is willing to go behind his girls back is probably someone that I wouldn't want to be with anyway. If he cheated on you, He will indeed cheat on this "friend" of yours. The flags are there, They are obviously into one another. People don't just "stalk" people 's social networks because they were just curious to how much someone looks like someone. Your friend is interested in him and doesn't have the balls to tell you and same goes for the boyfriend. I would cut them both loose, Find a new friend and a new boyfriend that wants to be with YOU not your friends.
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