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How do I give a good hand job?
Okay so I've never really given a hand job before and I want to know how so that I can give my boyfriend one. I've looked up how to do it, but the information doesn't really make sense to me. Most say I have to do a hand job AND a blow job, but I'm not comfortable doing a blow job. How do I make the hand job something that we both would enjoy and how do I make it a good one?
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Hi there. There's absolutely no need for your love-play to include oral if you're not comfortable about doing it yet. So set the rules first. For us guys, it's really about an action that kind of simulates what would happen during sex (which isn't always what a girl might find most pleasurable when she is bleing pleasured or pleasuring herself. We're a bit less complex!) You cannot really give a guy a handjob until he's fully erect, but that generally occurs quite quickly when we're being intimate with our girlfriends. You'll no doubt find a technique that is especially pleasing for him through experience. As a sort of rough outline, you move his foreskin, and your hand back and forth over dome/head of his penis by holding him between your thumb and fingers, with your thumb on top, fingers beneath. Begin quite slowly, say stroking every couple of seconds. As he gets more excited you increase the speed. Hold him firmly, but not too firmly. A good tip is about how firmly you could squeeze a banana without crushing or squashing it (seriously, this isn't a joke!). It isn't at all easy to accidentally squeeze an erect penis 'too hard' (ie. to the point where it would cause him damage) so don't worry too much about being too exact. After a period of stroking quite rapidly he'll feel the need to ejaculate ('come' or 'spurt' or whatever term you want to use). Most guys prefer their girlfriend to stop stroking and hold them quite firmly and steadily as they begin to ejaculate, until they're 'finished' but see what he enjoys. There's not a 'standard' time for how long your handjob goes on. He might want to finish quite quickly sometimes, or maybe go on for quite a while. And it will be different on different occasions. Of course, you'll find lots of personal ways to increase your enjoyment and his. We have lots of sensitive areas as well as just the head of our penises. Just like you ladies have lots of sensitive areas! I hope you've got a clearer idea of the 'mechanics' of the thing now? And relax, there's nothing that can actually 'go wrong' when giving a handjob, unlike full sex. A case of 'practice makes perfect', and I'm sure you'll find that the practice is an enjoyable, loving & relationship-bonding experience for both of you. Your best chance of making it mutually enjoyable is of course, communication. So talk to each other, ask him what's nice for him and listen to his replies. Notice that I said 'mutual' enjoyment, so don't feel pressured or let him pressure you into giving him oral unless or until you're happy to do so and want to. You're being very intimate with each other and you should always keep repect for each other and yourselves. Have fun, and best wishes.
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I'm gonna have to agree with Dragonflymagic. I don't even think it's right to try to explain it to you on here.
So, since you are comfortable enough to do this with your boyfriend, you should be able to talk openly with him. If you are too embarrassed, you should probably not jump into this yet. So assuming you guys are close enough for all this, just talk to him, ask him to show you how and how he likes it, ect. He'll be more than happy to help you out!
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You ask him...thats how you find out, you watch him do it and then copy him. Some guys may like longer or shorter strokes, a change of speed at some point and he will need to communicate this to you as you are doing it. One spot may become to sensitized or sore and need to change to doing something different.
Here's a thought, as a female, have you ever wondered how a guy learned to give himself a hand job? I will assure you that probably 99.9% of them learned by the experience of touching themselves and then doing whatever felt good. Since you can not feel what he is feeling, communication is most important for any aspect of sex to be good between two partners, whether handjob, blow job, him eating you out, etc... When its your turn, you will need to know your body really well by having the experience of giving yourself orgasms so you can communicate it to him. Communication is a key componant here. If you are too chicken to have such a conversation, then you are not mentally mature enough and ready to be having sexual experiences of any sort with a partner. So don't feel pressured if you're not ready. If you feel ready, ask. In fact if the two of you have feelings for each other, it will mean more to him that you cared to ask so that he can show you how he personally likes to do it so it will be pleasurable, rather than you guessing by something you read in a book or were told, and it not turning out good for him at all.
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