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Having trouble with parents
How can i show my parents that my opinions are important and that they should be considered as well?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Have you ever heard the old expression;"Children should be seen and not heard." Some parents are old fashioned enough to believe in this expression. In todays world it is my opinion that parents who believe in it are wrong.
That being said how do you convince your parents that you have a right to your own opinions?
The biggest responsibility we as parents have is teaching our children right from wrong. Now to my mind opinions have no true right or true wrong. It is definitely okay for any two people or more to have differing opinions on any subject.
This is where the problem comes in between parent a child. The second biggest job as parents that we have is helping you grow in to an adult. Shaping your outlook, how you see things which is part of how you shape your opinions, is part of our job as parents. When a child's opinion differs greatly from that of the parents at the very least they are told they have no idea or concept of what they are talking about. To me this is wrong. This is when a discussion should be had asking the child to quantify their opinion. To do so is a teaching moment.
From this discussion both parent(s) and child can see where the child is coming from with their opinion. As I said the opinion itself is not wrong though maybe the evidence to quantify that opinion is erroneous. This is the teaching point for the parent or for the child a chance to demonstrate to the parent they have done the research to quantify their opinion and the parents evidence or thoughts or faulty.
I have taken the long way around to get to the answer to your question. In what I have written above is the answer. If your parents are not accepting of your opinion then you must quantify to them why then should. With your parents just going to them and saying you have a right to your opinion is not going to work.
You need to go to them with a conversation in mind that asks them to help you learn and grow.
I would start the conversation with something like; "mom, dad I realize you don't consider my opinions to count for anything." "What I don't understand is why." "As parents is it not your job to help me grow into an adult and is not part of being an adult having opinions of my own." "Rather than tell me my opinion is foolish or nonsense could you not help me understand why by letting me try to justify my opinion and you pointing out where my reasoning is flawed." "Wouldn't this be helping me grow."
Of course you would put that in to your own words. If your parents are the good parents I believe than to be they shouldn't be able to refuse that type of reasoning.
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Hello there! :-)
Ask your parents to have a sit down talk with you. Some time put aside for a family talk, this is very important.
When you finally get together and all are seated, ask that this conversation be open and no judgments be thrown. Ask that you get time to talk, and that you would appreciate if they would just listen to what you have to say and then when you are finished they can then say what they need to say.
Remind them that once, not to long ago they were in your very spot, the only difference is that you are making the effort to be heard, even though you appear as a child to them. Let them know that you will be grown like them sooner than they think. They are raising a Woman/ Man, not a child.
The "old" ways society has conditioned us to raise our children, simply does not work. Many more parents need to step into this reality.
I hope all goes well friend.
Much Love, Light, Healing, and Blessings to you and all you Love. <3
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