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how to get over a Cheating ex boyfriend with a new gf


Question Posted Tuesday December 17 2013, 5:00 pm

My first real boyfriend, I met when I was 19yo, and he was 22. He was my first everything, although I wanted to wait til marriage. We dated for a year and a half, until my 21st bday where I can tell we were not on the same page. I put those thoughts aside, and within the next month or so things were weird between us, but nothing was said about it. I found messages and texts, and even pics sent between the two and he broke up with me. It's been two months since the breakup and I found out from close sources of his, that he's been cheating on me for a while. Today, it's been 3 months since the breakup, and he is dating that girl he cheated on me with. It hurts so bad, I just don't know what to do. I want to move on, but a piece of me is just so scared and feels so betrayed. I thought I was strong enough to move on, but every day seems to hurt even more. Seeing their picture together finalized how he was a horrible person to do that to me. I've always done everything for him and it just seems like he took advantage of that. How do I move on when it feels like theres a knife in my heart?

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lightoftruth answered Thursday December 19 2013, 2:34 am:
Wow he sucks.

It will take awhile for you to move on. It will be hard. I mean you cared about this guy a lot, he was your first real boyfriend and you put so much effort into him for a very long time. He'll probably end up cheating on this girl anyways. Even then, he's a jerk and she's stupid to be with a guy who cheats on his girlfriend. If she didn't know, their relationship is just starting out with a lie.
So keep your head up. You deserve a man so much better than him. My best advice would be to cut all possible contact with him. If you haven't deleted his number, do it. If you're friends with him on Facebook or any other social media site, unfriend him, unfollow him, ect. Anything you have that he ever gave you, get rid of it. There's no need for you to see his face on your screen or see things in your house that remind you of him.

Break ups are also a good time to improve yourself. It makes you want to throw it in their face that you're doing ten times better without them. Go start a new hobby, exercise, go out with friends, meet new people, focus on you and forget about him.

It'll take time, but you'll move on eventually.

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SabrinaNaddie answered Thursday December 19 2013, 1:51 am:
You're stronger than you think, believe me. This perhaps is one of our toughest tests in life and yes, being severely heartbroken especially after the first relationship could be severely depressing. Try thinking of the bright side. You did your best to contribute to the tie, and it wasn't your fault all of this occurred. At least you knew him earlier before even thinking about marriage with this man. Things would've been worse, wouldn't they? It might consume some time to forget him, but now you need to focus on you. Merely you. If he can perceive you as his past, so can you. I'm not trying to persuade you to hate him, but it's a fact.

Anger towards that very man will give you nothing, and if the feeling is prolonged, indirectly you'll imprison yourself in emotional prison. That is when 24/7 sadness comes along, disrupting your self-esteem and causes your mind to think as if "I can't go through this albeit I've tried." Self-defeating thoughts arise and may even cause certain people to harm themselves but I believe you won't. Look, you may feel as if every single day is getting excruciatingly painful, but this is the time for you to build up the strength. The moment for you to accept the harsh truth that he isn't for you, and looking at the pictures or texts will only exacerbate the current condition. There's no point trying to avoid the problem by having fun all the time, because at some time the memory will inevitably play itself in our heads.

Time heals nothing. It's what you do with the time that matters. If you want to, you can try spending time with the family or friends for they may give you a bigger support. Try sharing your feelings to the closest ones around you. It feels much more better letting go the cries and agony to the ones who listen, right? You can even e-mail me just in case. Anyway, you can always try pursuing your goals in life e.g. excelling studies, depends on what you desire for.

However, if the pain starts to set in suddenly, attempt your best holding back the negative words and assure yourself that as long as you're alive, you'll always have a purpose for your existence in the world or you would've been dead a long time ago. Do trust me in this I've been there and went through the convoluted pain for half a year. If you consistently try to build yourself up within these several months, God-willing you'll be better and have that strength to look and reflect back at your history. Remember that it is better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else. It is absolutely vital to move forward with life and love. Being willing to trust again is key. Take things one step at a time.

Discover the beautiful side of you :)

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