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Claustraphobic relationship
18/f
So I've been with a guy for two months now in a relationship.
He's really into me, and even talks of me being 'the one' and marriage etc.
However I recently went out clubbing and remembered how good the single life is. Not in a hoe type way-but how nice it is to be free and flirty.
I do love my boyfriend, but I just don't fancy him and (this sounds so harsh) I do think I could do better.
However I'm his first girlfriend and considering he thinks we'll be life partners, I don't want to hurt his feelings. He said he thought he'd be a loner all his life until he met me.
I used to think when I came to Uni that I wanted a relationship, now I'm in one all I want is to have a bit of freedom again. I mean heavens, somethings wrong here when I find 80% of the club guys hotter than my boyfriend.
How can I get out of this mess? And sorry this is so long!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Well you obviously shouldn't stay with him if you aren't happy in the relationship. He may be a great guy, treat you right, but maybe the chemistry just isn't there for you anymore.
Like Zane said, 2 months into the relationship is really early to start talking about marriage and such. I had a boyfriend who told me he loved me within 2 weeks of our relationship and that just freaked me out a bit.
So don't stay with him if you aren't happy. Don't stay with him just because you don't want to hurt his feelings. In the long run, you'll hurt him worse. If you leave now, he'll have a chance to move on sooner and find someone else who is better for him.
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The main question to your problem is, Are you happy?
If you are not, Then you need to leave him. Unfortunately, Sounds like not only is he not the one for you but you may of been a bit scared off by his talk of marriage. I will throw down a personal opinion (2 months of dating and talk of marriage is a bit of a scare off to me anyway..)
Never feel the obligation to stay in a relationship you are not happy in. A relationship is about TWO people not one, If you don't feel that the relationship is working for you then it's better to acknowledge that now then later. It would be the right thing to do to tell him rather then lead him into thinking there is something when there is not. If you want your freedom, You are entitled too it. This relationship just isn't working out for you and that's okay, I give you props for the acknowledgment. Maybe it's time to move on until you find something more suitable for you.
Now onto something a bit different.
Considering your "boyfriend" is new into the relationship world and seems to be a bit clingy so soon it may be in your best interest if you both go your separate ways rather then remain friends. I'm not saying he will but there is a high chance he will continue to fight for the relationship etc. For his sake, It may only be fair to cut contact.
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Well first off, don't stay in the relationship because you are afraid to hurt his feelings. That won't be a healthy relationship for either of you. It will hurt him, but he will move on. If he found you, he could definitely heal and find someone else.
Honestly, talking about marriage that quickly might be a sign to back off a little bit. That shouldn't be the norm, especially for 18 year olds. No offense.
You may simply be destined to be good friends rather than in a relationship together. Just understand that you may not have that friendship if you decide to move on.
I hate saying it, but it doesn't sound like you should stay in this relationship. If you are more attracted to other people, then explore that. If you were with the one, you would think he was the only one for you.
I wish you the best of luck. I hope everything works out so that you are both happy.
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To start with, 18 is really very young to be in a committed life partner type relationship with someone. It does happen for some and statistically these early marriages fail more than they are successful.
What you need to tell him and plainly so is: that at this time your plans do not include a life partner now or at anytime in the near future. That if this is not acceptable to him then you will understand if he wants to date someone else. Though if you do continue to date any further talk of a future life together is not only unacceptable it is a deal breaker as far as dating is concerned
This puts him in the position of breaking up with you rather than you breaking up with him. What you are doing is putting your cards on the table and being honest with him. You are saying; "I like you, we can date, but marriage is not in the equation now or anytime in the near or distant future for me."
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