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I do trust him, but I'm still worried...


Question Posted Friday November 29 2013, 4:24 pm

OK, so I have this boyfriend. Long distance relationship. I genuinely love him. He went to his job today for the first time since we got together. And I'm really worried. Because he works at Hot Topic, and you know how all the insanely flawless girls go there. Any girl can fall in love with him. So what if he leaves me for another girl? I mean, I don't think he'd do that since he keeps telling me to promise him that I'll never leave him and that he'll never leave me. But I'm still worried if he'll leave me for a much prettier girl though. I keep worrying about it because I know he can get absolutely any girl he wants, because he's just so perfect. If I ever lost him to another girl, I'd self-harm big time. (If you say I'm crazy, you obviously don't know how I feel about him.)

How can I stop feeling this way?


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WittyUsernameHere answered Tuesday December 3 2013, 12:35 am:
There is no answer you're going to listen to that is actually correct. You can't stop feeling this way, you're a teenager (god I hope you're still young enough to be a teenager) in a shallow long distance relationship.

So, when this does inevitably blow up in your face, remember a few things.

1) You never really knew this guy.

2) Long distance relationships only work between adults who can choose to move to make it a normal relationship.

3) Self harm in order to prove to yourself or anyone else how much you really cared is a stupid teenaged drama queen thing to do and you need to grow the fuck up and get over things like breakups.

4) You haven't got a clue what love is.

5) No one is perfect and you will never have a good relationship with any guy if you think he is.

6) Being insecure is a good way to lose someone, don't do it next time.

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lightoftruth answered Saturday November 30 2013, 5:52 am:
I'd have to agree with Snaushad about this is about you being insecure.

The only reason this relationship will end is that you don't feel like you're good enough and no matter what he tells you, you just won't believe it and he'll get tired of it. If he did find some other girl, he just simply wasn't the right guy for you and didn't really care in the first place. If you think he's that type of guy, then yeah you should be worried and even that will be the end of the relationship because the trust would be gone.

But I'm just going with he's a nice guy who actually likes you so if you want to stay with him, you have to stop hating on yourself.

Here's the thing, the relationship won't work with your paranoia. There are pretty girls everywhere. Whether he worked at Hot Topic or not, he'll be around pretty girls. How will you handle it in the future? He will obviously be working and I'm pretty sure there will be good looking girls there. You can't be a wife who's paranoid of him being at work because there are good looking women around.

You can't truly love someone until you love yourself. You don't feel good enough to be with him, you don't feel confident enough in your relationship that he might just up and leave you.

The way to stop feeling like all that is to build your self confidence. Remember that he chose you, if he wanted to be with another girl he'd be with her. If he left you for another girl, he's a jerk. Build up your self confidence, learn to love yourself.
There are girls who are considered unattractive by society but still have great self confidence and have gotten great guys. That's what keeps the guy with you.

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Snaushad answered Saturday November 30 2013, 1:47 am:
Okay so you obviously have many issues with yourself, I hate to say it. First off before anything, you're insecure and you need to realize why you guys are together. If he really is as perfect as you say he is, then there's a reason he's with you. He doesn't just get with a girl for her looks. So he obviously chose you for your personality, looks have a small amount to do with it when it comes down to it for guys. Also, there's a difference between pretty and attractive. All guys can't help but find girls pretty, even if they are in a relationship. However, they won't be attracted to them, they're attracted to their gf. If your worried that he'll leave you for a prettier girl, then think about if you guys have a strong relationship. If he really likes or loves you for you, then I highly doubt he'll leave you. And also... Keep in mind that all guys have different taste in girls. He obviously likes what he has right now which is you. I hope this helped a lot.

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