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sex with boyfriend
My boyfriend and I know that pre-married sex is wrong, but we can't help it. It's not on our minds all of the time, but we still do it. I've tried down dressing, where I don't look to sexy or not at all. He doesn't dress to impress either, but still..We tried to stop over and over, but can't. I don't know what to do..
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
How old are you? How long have you been dating? It definitely doesn't matter how you dress, if the thoughts are there what you are wearing will not matter. Maybe when you are "feeling the moment" try going outside for a walk/run or try maybe calling a few friends over to hang out. If you are under the age of 18 then maybe you should only hang out when parents are around to keep you from engaging in the act.
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If you can't stop try sitting down and talking and if you get horny then look away and pretend he isn't there
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I have no idea how old you are so it makes it harder to answer this question.
Honestly, it just sounds like you have no self control, which is really, really bad.
If you view pre-marital sex wrong, then that's how you view it and then you shouldn't do what you think is wrong. If you think it's ok, then it's ok..as long as you take precautions like birth control, condoms, ect.
I think you guys should take a break from each other and try to figure out what your beliefs on this subject are and follow what you think is right. You shouldn't be with someone who you have no self control around, that can lead you into serious trouble.
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As one of the older advisors on this site I will give you my views on pre-marital sex.
I am of the grandparent age and for most of us my age it would be hypocritical of us to condemn anyone for having sex before marriage as most of us have. what is wrong is to have sex to early in life as in your early teen years.
Why? For a number of reasons. First and foremost is the fact that you are to young. You may have the body of an adult woman, most males bodies mature much later in life, yet you have not yet obtained the maturity needed to have a sex life. By that I mean being responsible for the consequences of your actions. The women has the most to lose as she is the one that gets pregnant. She is also the one that has to go through school with a reputation of being sexually available or being easy.
Two things about young males when it comes to sex. First they cannot keep a secrete. They have to tell someone that they had sex with you, especially if it is yours is his first time. That person tells someone else and with the aid of social media today you suddenly have young men lining up at your door hoping you will have sex with them. Even if you don't they will lie and say you did. There goes your reputation. This has been this way since I was a boy and those before me.
Second young males do not have the same definition of love that girls do. For most males love and lust are synonymous. Hence a boys famous line; "If you love me you will have sex with me. Your boy friend may be the alternate of the many given his feelings on premarital sex. If he has said anything like have sex with me or ... Then he is not any different then the rest.
Still at some point it does become permissible to have sex before marriage. When you are old enough to be mature enough to take care of yourself and make your own way in the world. That time comes when you are seen as an adult by the world. This happens when you turn 18. Your parents will still see you as a child though legally they have no hold on you.
Now if you wish to have a sex life before marriage it is entirely your choice based on your principals. Fact is somewhere in the 85% to 90% range most of the adults in your parents and grandparents ages did have pre-marital sex.
Where you parent part of the larger group or smaller group? Only they know the answer and only they can decide to share that information with you. My wife and I decided early on that when it came to sex we would be honest and forthright with our children. When the question was asked we told them how old we were when we first had sex. From that the could deduce that their parents were not virgins when we met. But we were virgins on our 18th birthday.
I cannot tell you what to do or not to do. I can ask you to wait until you are old enough to be responsible and mature enough to be having sex. To me as I said that is age 18. As for having a sex life before marriage as an adult. This is your choice. As a whole society will not hold that against you.
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