|
I think I'm falling for my best friend.. Help?
I'm a bisexual female and my best friend (Who is also female) is straight. I met her about a year ago, but we didn't become close until about a month ago. Well I think I'm starting to like her. She knows I'm bi.
Today she told me she would turn bi for me and that actually gave me a little bit of a hope. Anyways, what should I do? I don't really want to ruin our friendship but I like her.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
As it so happens, I am in the same position, except for the part where my straight friend would turn bi for me. I've been friends with her since my freshman year of high school although I'd met her before. Its our junior year now, and I've recently developed feelings for her, and I daydream about her all the time now. I'd absolutely be in heaven if she liked me back the same way. Anyways, back to you. I'd say go for it. That's what I'd do, although I'm also apprehensive. If she is willing to pursue a relationship, then you should take advantage of the offer, and if it doesn't work out, there are two good outcomes: being friends with benefits or just staying friends. Hope I helped you, doll. :)
]
A person can't pretend or force change upon themselves. Meaning your friend cannot just "turn" bisexual, It is either she is or she isn't.
Clearly, Your friend is not bisexual. It's basically like someone saying "I am a male but I will turn female for you" it just doesn't work that way.
If you don't want to ruin your friendship with her then remain friends. Even if she "tried" to become bisexual it is a loose loose situation.
I agree with Dragon, Your friend can be with you, She can be sexually active but her heart will not be into it.
]
One of the worst things a person can do is change who they are naturally in looks, behavior, personality, etc... to keep or win the love of another.
I know it sounds like a very loving caring gesture, real sweet. But a people can not turn on or turn off something about themselves. She's not bi. That means she is not wired to be sexually aroused by females or have a desire to please them and be pleased by them. So yes she can force herself to do it with you. And probably won't be grossed out by it, but her heart will not really be in it.
When a person makes changes in themself for a partner or best friend, a couple things can happen...The person making the sacrifices can easily pretend to like something or be someone but it takes real lifee energy to keep 'acting the false role'. I am not kidding, thats why most people who put their best front out when dating, after a while become totally exhausted with the pretense and the fake mask slips and the real person shows if they were hiding something. She may do it for you because she cares about you.
I am not saying dont give it a try, just warning you to expect to not be fully satisfied because this will never come as close to the real thing of two people passionately drawn to each other sexually. This is a poor substitute. But the best way to learn dear is to go through it and experience it. I only worry about what damage it may do to the relationship you worry about ruining because I have seen relationships ruined when one person made radical changes for the other on the impression that they were doing it to save the relationship and keep from ruining it. Only after a while, not instantly....the relationship couldn't handle the strain on one or both of the people. I changed who I was to please a husband when newly married. Instead of being happy, after a while he began to despise me because I wasn't being my real self. It ate away at him that I wasn't really what he wanted, I was just 'going through the motions.
If you both attempt this and start to know stress or disrespect for each other, then you will have to drop the sexual part of the relationship and go back to being regular friends. And if that can't be done without you being miserable then, it comes down to parting ways as friends and never seeing each other again. I can't predict how you both will be able to handle it emotionally but the examples I've laid out are the most common reactions and scenerios.
]
More Questions: |