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Passive aggressive apartment mates??
I moved into an apartment with 3 other girls for college in October. We were randomly assigned to be apartment mates. At the beginning it seemed like we all wanted to be polite. At the beginning I tried to reach out to all of them to ask to hang out. One responded ok but I almost never see her because she sleeps during the day and wakes up at night. The other two always said they had other stuff to do.
These two other girls are very different from me. I'm the bookworm and they're the frat party type (they go to a lot of frat parties). As the weeks went on, they started to be really cold to me. They say 'hi' and 'bye' if they have to in the hallway. If I ever try to make conversation (like "Hi amy, how was your day?) they respond in monosyllables. It's hard to describe in detail, but basically they glare at me with disgust and loathing. They avoid me as much as possible and completely ignore me in public. I hear them gossip about other people constantly and it's now obvious they hate me too.
I'm so fed up now after spending weeks trying to be polite. It's gotten to the point where I dislike them as much as they dislike me. The other day I made a point of glaring at both of them and using the exact same crumbled 'hi' they used to greet me- they seemed surprised. I know it's immature but I'm so aggravated by their hostility that I want to treat them as badly as they've treated me from now on.
What can you do if the people you live with hate you? My other friends seem to be getting along fine with their suitemates. I'm not looking forward to spending the rest of the year with these girls. Please help. I don't know why this is happening.
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I suggest you talk to the person who assigned you to room with these girls. There may be another apartment with a similar situation and personality mismatch and a switch might be able to be done.
In the meanwhile realize that a roommate doesn't have to like you or have a great desire to become your friend. You are only sharing living space, not social life. I know its hard maybe for a friendly person to be around people who aren't socially friendly back. But as long as you all can be civil to each other, respective of each others privacy and cooperative on any areas of the apt. that need to be shared, then nothing else is required.
Then again, it may be that this is just how you are interpreting their actions and not at all an issue of dislike or hate.
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