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remembering possible abuse?
The other day I was just thinking about how mad I was at my family, and I know that most kids who get abused don't say anything because they think that all families are like thiers. And I just remembered many instances that I wasn't sure if they were abuse or not, so I wanted some opinions...
- When I was like 5/6/7 years old, I remember that I hated milk and orange juice, and that if I didn't drink my whole glass, my dad would get really mad and tilt my head back and hold my nose so I couldn't breathe, and pour the drink down my throat to make me drink it. Sometimes I would start to gag and my mom would tell my dad to stop, but he would tell her to be quiet. And say that from now on, I would finish my drink.
-My sister would verbally and physically beat on me a lot (she's bipolar, though). But one time imparticular, when I was 11, She was yelling at me and her voice cracked, and I giggled just a little bit, and she kicked me hard in the shin/calf and I fell on the floor and started to cry and she told me it was my fault and I deserved it and told me to go to my room for being a b-tch. Did I deserve it? I did laugh and laughing is rude, right?
- Same sister, when I was like 7, she would.. um.. kiss me, a lot. When our parents were gone. And if I asked her to stop she would hit me or tell me to be quiet. so.. I let her. I can only remember this happening once, though. And another time a few days later, I think.
..Thanks for your opinions.
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That was abusive behavior your dad did and could possibly have stemmed from how he was treated emotionally, mentally and physically as a kid. Or he could have had a mental illness of his own, one that may not have been severe enough to be spotted in public and but when home and not having to be on best behavior, a person with mental illness will let whatever is deep down inside them come out. And that stuff can be very abusive behavior, or more obsessive stuff that drives people crazy but doesnt harm them in any way.
Its likely if your sister is bipolar that he had something too. From telling mom to be quiet when she protested, and she did nothing more to step in, she feared him, he most likely is a controller, which could be narcissistic. No matter what label you give it, it is not a healthy thing to grow up with.
Children are created with an ability to forget and bury deep inside the things that were bad experiences, like a temporary amnesia. This is because as children, they have no way of protecting themselves, unlike an adult who can choose to subject themselves to such treatment or remove themselves from it. Since you are not an adult yet and likely still living with the abusive father and sister, you'll likely need to continue to live with it, or if it becomes too much for you emotionally, threatening to take you into depression or you feel you physical safety is threatened, then you will need to let authorities know. Start with school counselors. If they aren't helpful, you can check with CPS, Child Protective Services. While you're no longer a child, as a teen, you are still not an adult. If needed, get this kind of help now.
For later, once you are an adult:
The subconscious mind of a child is all the ugly stuff experienced is buried. It can't stay buried forever. This is only a temporary protection to help a person cope until they reach adulthood. At some point in adult hood, it begins to surface in different ways, either emotionally, mentally or physically. If physically, all of a sudden you are having all sorts of illnesses coming up that you didn't before, or you are having bits and pieces of memories, or having nightmares, etc... then a professional is the best person to see at this point. They can help bring any unpleasant memories fully out and help with any residual effects it may be having on you.
Since memories are surfacing already now, I cant say whether there will be any serious effects from it or not.
But if you begin to notice more severe changes occuring, only professional help will begin the healing process. Your dad as an abusives/abused person is unlikely to understand or care about getting you counseling. If it ever affects your ability to concentrate and do well in school, its time to get help from school counselers. Counseling is a long term solution. A more direct path is seeing a hypnotherapist who works directly with the subconscious where the effects of the abusive was buried all this time.
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Yes, this definitely sounds like abuse! Your sister having bipolar is no excuse. That's quite sad that you had to go through that. Oh, and you might want to add your gender. :) hope I helped.
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