|
Stressin through the roofs
So sats are tomorrow. Im a senior so tomorrow is a really important day for me. Im pretty much stressing out so much already. The thing is that a week ago my boyfriend and i have gotten into a huge fight. And i brought up the topic of if we should break up. So were st that stage where we arent broken up but doesnt feel like were together. I previously mentioned he sai i changed him like changed his smoking habit his cussing habit and his rebelling habit and mch more andthat now he wants to be himself. I do want him to be himself and i absolutely enforce my no smoking though and he understands this. But lately weve been not talking at all like just barely. Its so scary cause i should wory about sts right now but i also worry abput my relationhip. I asked him to meet with me the day after sats for us to talk about well our relationship and i think that how im fiving his so muh alone time andthat we barwly talk will result in us breaking up so im so damn scared. I thought that by givig him alone time hed have time to understna d himself and his feelings but i dont know because it migjt be doing the opposite and he might just think that oh we barley talk anyways and it doesnt even feel like a relationship so we should migjt as well break up because i have no more feelings for her anyways i cant evencontonie a conversation with her. Lately i dont know if he even cares abor my feeling sbecause hes been so blunt to the poit that i get hurt. I dont know maybe wa just mad at me for changing him or something like bad mood or mad idk. But i dont know what to do about how to just focus on my sats and not think about my bad relationship. And at the same time i want to have advice about what you think is going on in his mind. Please post the response about what to do with my relationship and what hes thinking tomorrow beccause education is way too imporant to me. But ratherpost the advixe on how to lower my stress level and how to calm myself sown and not worry abput my relationship and sats both at the same time. I really just need to worry about sats for now. Please.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Light of truth has good ideas for getting you through SAT's. Follow them. It helps me too to get things out on paper, out of my head. Sometimes in the writing process, the answers or solutions will pop into my head and go down on paper too.Try some deep breathing exercises just before hand, think of what normally puts you in a cheery mood song wise...its the melody rather than the words that are of importance here. Play the melodies that when heard seem to make your heart feel light as a feather as if it were rising up out of your chest. Everyone has songs like that. One of them for me for example is Clocks by Coldplay. I'd play it 3 times in a row before going on to another good one. Sing along and dance along...all this will raise the levels of hormones in your brain by boosting levels neuro transmitters responsible for creating them. Once the levels are up, the stress will be down and you should also be able to think more clearly for Sats and also for your situation and what you need to say. You haven't learned this yet, but two people with too many differences who try to "force" the relationship to work when neither is going to budge from what is important to them is going to fail at some point. I know your heart is involved, your subconscious mind is attached with feelings to him. But what does your conscious rational mind say to you? Do you really believe that it could work?
If you do, then perhaps the school of hard knocks (as far as relationships go ) is the path for you to take. There's something to be said for learning the lessons on your own through the pain and heartache and fights.
So what is going on in his mind? As a soul, my guess is he hasn't evolved enough to care about anyone or anything else other than himself and what makes him feel good. He likely operates at a lower vibrational level than you. That means you would have to lower yourself to meet him. There is no possibility of it going the other way and him choosing to be more mature and more evolved a creature...that takes time, often, lifetimes. He's happy smoking and cussing. It's not the best scenerio for someone like you, but for him, it is normal and comfortable. To change oneself to match another person is not a good thing to do, EVER!. At least the boyfriend has that one thing figured out. I say good for him, he should not pretend or force himself to be something he's not. Neither should you. One of the problems that arise when someone changes who they are to please another is resentment flaring up towards the other. That has already happened. Unfortunately due to lack of life experience, you don't see it as such. I've got a daughter going through much the same. She isn't using me for advice and has prefered to go through the school of hard knocks so she has been suffering the pain and heartache of 3 failed relationships cus she's been picking the wrong guy each time or not leaving soon enough once he shows his true colors. I'd hate to hear of you suffering anymore but sometimes dear, thats the best way to learn. I hope your guy actually has the guts to just leave you and cut it off because I don't believe you are strong enough right now to do so. You may be later but not at the moment. My greatest wish for you is that you learn the lesson you need most to learn at this time. Good luck.
]
I'll start with the SATs. You have to be prepared for things like this because sometimes tragic things will happen and then you have a test coming up. You won't always be able to skip it so you'll need to learn how to control your emotions and thoughts.
What I normally do when something is really on my mind and I can't seem to stop thinking about it is to write it all out. You get all your thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
You need to learn to put things in their proper places. Your relationship is after the test, so leave it there.
You don't want to fail something simply because of a boy. You're better than that. School is much more important.
As for your relationship, I'm really not sure what the outcome is going to be. I have no idea what's going on in his head. I don't know him at all. He treats you badly. Even when you get into a fight, he shouldn't just spout things out of his mouth that hurts you. I mean if you want to try to work it out, it's going to take effort, lots of effort between the two of you. Which means he has to be putting in a lot of effort as well.
Just don't over think this and start trying to come up with things that he could possibly be thinking of. It won't do you any good. So forget about him during your test, focus all your energy on that.
]
I believe you are the same person who asked a similar question here before?
At this point your relationship is over. It hasn't been said but there is no effort to want to improve this relationship on his part. Sometimes people are just not mature enough to actually tell the person how they really feel. You stated that he wanted to be himself which indicates he wants to be himself without being in a relationship. You cannot make a relationship work if only one person tries. I am sorry again, but you need to let it go and move on. We all told you this once before but by staying in contact isn't going to help you in the long run. He does not want to be in a relationship, This is what it all comes down too.
]
More Questions: |